Stopped Intoxicating

For at least a while, these toxins seem to hold.
Only doing it to see a smile that is now seeming old.
Keeping me well. Keeping me normal.
I stop. Physical hell. These friends seem formal.
Wake up to reality and see the light of normality.
All the wrong memories of all the wrong things.
Seem to follow my trail. I wait to see who it brings.
People I don't even know, forcing these chemicals.
Now needing this help. Real drugs are for fools.
Ask for help, spend the time. Get help, pay the money.
My brain seeming fried, no longer seeming funny.
No longer can I enjoy these substances.
Knowing they will affect the circumstances.
Nothing matters. Leave me be.
No more love, seemingly.