Did Love You

Closer to alone,
but not far from home.
Wanting less, getting more,
receiving what I've had before.
The same thing, a different meaning,
your looking, but I'm the only one seeing,
what's been going on.
What I have is all now gone.
Moved on. Gone. away,
wasn't long, before she had to say,
things changed, you changed.
What's wrong girl?
It's over, is this for real?
Lost meaning in my heart,
Your name I try to start.
Can't finish. These tears drown me.
My heart now dead, you still won't see.
I'm sorry. I'm not sure why, but I see pain.
Your pain isn't much, but drives me insane.
I want to help, want to help you.
Your capacity in my heart has grown few.
I did love you. Did.

More Than Love

I thought it was more than teen affection.
She made it more than mental desolation.
Our love was not simple, so I thought.
Then I realized, she has everything I'm not.
She has a personality, a reputation.
I have a heart with filtration.
Simple needs in a girl.
Love, personality. She had a portion.
Little love, too much personality. My abortion.
Someone take me in, love me.
I need to begin, I need to see.
She wasn't my only choice.
I gave her my love, no rejoice.
All of it. Gone.
She was someone I could count on.
Behind me it's not,
it is something that still needs to be forgot.
Forgive her? How could I?
How can I forgive suffering and lies.
I wouldn't do that.
Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.
I gave you your space,
but all you gave me was disgrace.
Turned against. Let go.
You do not even know.
Sedation of love kept me asleep,
now I have nothing left to keep.
No more love. I don't want it back beautiful.
Keep it. Let it sink in, let the pain fulfill.
Feel what I went through, mental kill.
Sorry if I changed. We all do,
but I still can't believe it was the only reason you
left me. Friends. All I have now.
I can count on them, someone I will allow.
Not someone who will stab me in the back.
You just took one big whack.
The fact that you broke up with me isn't the issue.
Its what you did in the process too.
We had everything planned.
Us two, waiting for the land.
The breakup. We knew this wouldn't last.
The setup. You knew I wasn't fast.
Fast enough to make the decision to end it before you did.
Fast enough to to forgive.
Leave with no sympathy cold heart.
Where to go now? Where to start?

What Now

Over. Done. Ended.
The way I feel and the way I am.
She was my everything. She's gone.
She loved me, took me by the hand,
but left me at the heart. So long.
How many day's will I sit here,
knowing I love you my dear.
Irresistible. Trying to forget.
Just how far we didn't get.
How far we did get. I'm not sure.
The last time I fall for your beautiful lure.
To the extent of love. Impression.
No other. Left in depression.
My dignity, my pride.
Left behind because it couldn't hide.
Didn't know how to escape, with more a than meaning.
Love. I'm not believing.
You loved me? You cared about me?
Now it's this broken heart you can't see.
Wakeup to reality babe. Wakeup to truth.
I'm hurt. See my pain.
Feel it, for you are to blame.
Just once. Notice me. Notice me.
You can't leave me behind.
You just don't see,
because you choose to be blind.
What now? You leave me in emptiness.
All I wanted was one last kiss.
A reason. An excuse, why you ended it.
Tell me. I've already been hit.
Why not take another shot?
I'm in the view, what have you got?
The heart to tell me? No.
The heart to hurt me? Yes.

Let Me See

Lonely. Solitary. Nameless.
All unique feelings only some feel.
You sit there, no hurt. Painless.
Your perfect life, never needing to heal.
Maybe not, either way, it seems better,
when I have nothing left but this empty letter.
Writing to no one but me.
Others read, but they do not see.
The person who sits here day after day,
feeling the sorrow of so much dismay.
God help me. Lord save me.
Give my soul life, make me happy.
Bring joy to my heart,
because right now, it's being ripped apart.
So close. So very close.
Almost. Almost there.
No one cares.
No one seems to. I see no action.
These friends want to help, but for their own fraction.
For their own credit from the lord.
Thinking it will bring them closer to the almighty sword,
of Christ.
Friends help you for your good. Not their own.
They help until you are fully healed and grown.
Regained full strength. Strong.
Happy. Feeling like you belong.
Light of the word, you stare down into darkness.
Open my eye's, let me see.

A New

I did this to myself.
I chose the wrong shelf.
The right place to find the wrong book.
I didn't read the review, all I needed was a look.
That's all it took, to see you were no good.
I was distracted. There was no way I could.
Your beauty and happiness caught my attention.
But now the tension to end this is redemption.
Save me from this speeding car I can no longer control.
Save me, this relationship is finally taking it's toll.
You have to end it. I don't have the heart.
End this before I can no longer start.
No longer think because I'm addicted to you.
I will no loner be able to feel a new,
a new kind of happiness. A new kind of love.
I sit on my bed. Looking at you.
the only picture I have, is not something new.
I've seen it more than I can count.
But where are you really, I shout.
Where is the angel I no longer can adore?
Where is the girl that I can't love anymore?
I sit on my bed, looking for you.
Knowing you won't be there, but hoping soon.
Soon you will arrive to tell me the end.
Maybe you won't, you don't want me to begin,
a new.

Let It Be

What if I left you. What would happen?
What would you do? How would it happen?
Would you cry? Would you still love me?
Would you sigh and just let it be?
The thought hits me when I think about your actions.
I see what you are doing, and these aren't just captions.
Not some text in a picture that means nothing,
But my life your hands, you actually mean something.
How would I live without your love and care?
I still don't know, but this is getting unfair.
You treat me like any guy, any other friend.
I thought we were more. This is coming to a long end.
It reminds me how we were at the start.
Both of us loving with all our heart.
Look at us now. Look at me now.
Look at me.
You obviously are blind not to see,
the pain that is barely escaping me.
Wanting out, but I try and hold strong,
thinking maybe you will notice, but realizing I don't belong.
You don't need me. You only need your friends.
You just can't see. I'm not pretend.
I'm right here. Love me,
look at me, and see,
the pain inside, you just let it be.

Portrait of Pain

If I could take your pain and frame it, I would.
Try to correct the picture, but it doesn't mean I should.
You painted a portrait of pain for me,
it's on your wall and doesn't mean a thing.
Simply ignored because the blind can't see beyond.
You walk by, somehow grown fond,
of the picture on your wall.
Baby, even I can't see it all, but this is obvious,
look closer if your even curious.
Stop painting, drop your brush.
Just stop before I'm completely crushed.
All I see in your future is more portraits,
more pain, I'm about to forfeit.
Somehow I've made it this far.
I didn't get here by car,
Only by the portrait of my pain.

Pain Sweet Pain

Every moment, some sort.
Every day, my last resort.
I get home, see her sweet words,
then try to make out what is hers.
Are these her words or feelings?
These lies aren't just killing.
They make one suffer. Make one feel terrible.
Make you want to die, it's unbearable. Unbelievable.
How can simple feelings make me tremble.
Why do you do this to me?
Can you not see?
This damage is happening mentally and physically.
You have to stop this before it to late.
I can't handle another date.
Pain sweet pain. Thats all it is.
It went and came. I can't handle this.

The Truth About Honesty

Honestly but slowly, I reveal my darkest thoughts and feelings.
Only to realize you never really cared, and it kills me.
To have complete trust in someone and then have that ripped away.
It makes me want to end this, make this my last and final day. You left me with dismay.
Mental death has occurred in many thoughts and depressions.
But how many times has it been the real session?
The real action and death of my soul and spirit.
Only the mental breakdown of the strongest lyric. Let me here it.
Let me hear the true meaning of death and solitude.
I want to feel it, I want to live this never ending life of blue.
To feel what it's like to live with less than few.
To feel what it's like to live without you.
You don't know what your causing me. You don't know where I've been.
You won't open your closed eyes to see, the look that has brought us to and end.
Let me help you see the light. Let me help you be blinded by what's unseen, by you.
I'm sorry, but this is the last of my fight. This is all I can go through.
The days of despair and cruelty have come to a start,
we all join in, and act the part.
Pain. Pain. Ripped away. You left me in the deepest dismay.
This is my last and final day, with you.

When You Say You Love Me

Just a simple phrase. A simple text.
The simple words, I hope come next.
Can you say them to my face? No.
But with such grace, I wonder how so.
Do you really love me the way you say?
It seems the exact same day after day.
Maybe you do, but do you think about what it means?
Do you even know what's behind these closed screens.
Isolated from the outside, trapped from the inside.
Able to leave, but you have to decide.
Do you really love me when you say it?
It's hard to believe the way you display it.
Cold feelings like any other guy.
But then again, that's what I am, so why even try?
Try to be the only guy who you feel emotionally attached to.
When's my turn? Give me a cue.
Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
3 times the charm, stop causing me harm.
Do I love you?

If You Loved Me

Everyday. Every week.
I see your face, but just a peek.
Wanting more, but getting less.
I'm becoming sore with no progress.
Not getting stronger from the thought of your name,
but getting weaker because your to blame.
You caused all this pain that driving me towards insane.
The mental stress that is caused from you.
What am I to do?
Break up with the girl I've so longingly lived for?
Or stay with pain, just more.
This relationship could has come to a end.
Save it before another one begins.
You've already found another,
your leaving me in the dust, without a lover.
No one to love. No one to cry on.
All I had was you, and now your gone.
Not completely, just out of sight.
Your there, but not willing to put up a fight.
I cant see.
Maybe you just don't love me.
If you loved me, you wouldn't put me through this.
But leave me here, let's see who's missed.

Every Guy, Every Way

Why am I here? Why are you there?
Can you not sense the fear within my care?
I care about you. Do you care about me?
But you've found a new, how could this be.
All those great times, all the shared love.
I missed the chimes to release the dove.
You've stayed your welcome.
Go. It seems like your wish.
There is obviously no finish.
No last lover. No last heartbreak.
I duck, I need cover, help me from the shell-shake.
A wake-up to life. Cold water on my face.
I pick up the knife, we can't stay the same pace.
Your faster and can handle it,
I'm a disaster and can't take a hit.
Why was I here? To show you, you can't have every guy.
What you have to fear? All the guys who you bring a tear.
I will always love you but never in the same way.
Maybe someday you will realize, you can't have every guy, every way.