Mayday

I feel so beat down. Crashes, mayday.
What was going through my head when I saw you today?
Ask me. Do you even care?
Probably not, so theres no reason to share.
I'll tell you though. I'll explain it as best I can.
Anger, hate, sadness, jealously, loneliness.
What could make me feel that way? Only this.
The sight of your perfect life, your perfect kiss.
What happened to it, the girl I used to miss.
I'm not allowed to miss you anymore,
we're broken up, no more.
But inside, I still do. I still do.
Almost everything about you. Do you?
Do you miss me? Is this still new?
Have you gotten past our breakup?
Changing in relationships. Shakeup.
When anyone mentions your name, they shutup.
They know the pain I feel. Why can't you?
Laugh in the face of my name. That's your cue.
Make a joke out of everything, you always do.
I saw you today. Mayday.

Heartless Sounds

I remember what you said.
What you did, who you were.
This blood pulsing through my head, I loved her.
The sound of your heart racing.
The pain it is now creating.
Why? Why did you do this to me.
Can you not see, you were the key.
The key to my soul, my very heart.
You turned the diamond back to coal, every single part.
Leave me incomplete. Leave me these non existing sounds.
The ones I cry for every night, they rebound.
Inside my head, outside my heart.
Wheres the key? Getting further apart.
I saw you today. You were happy, but inside alone.
Do you miss our conversations on the phone?
I do. Now the words you speak, have become few.
I looked back at what I said.
I miss what was going through this head.
Do you remember all the shit I put with?
No you don't. You took it as a myth.
A story. A joke. A rumor.
I'm stuck with a mental tumor.
Cut me open, inject the pain.
Take a look, at what I became.
Will I make it? Will I forget this all happened?
Now you tell me only a fraction.
A fraction of the lie. No I won't.
I lay on my side, in agony.
The feeling won't stop nagging me.
Forever in my head. Laying by my phone.
I sit in my bed, feeling so alone.
Heartless sounds.

A Mental High

The feeling repulsive, but at the same time, calming.
The mental pain, needing aid, calling.
I don't want to help, I don't want this feeling to stop.
My knees buckling. About to drop.
I stand knowing I have the strength.
But fall, knowing the pain inside will someday sink.
It will detonate my mind destroying any thoughts of this.
Doing nothing, but creating one big dent.
Fixable, not fixable, but still needing that extra cent,
extra push, to get it started so it can be at normal level.
In a dazed state. Eyes half open.
Unable to move, but hoping, that someone will help.
Get you moving, get you up to pace.
Just enough to be able to compete in the race.
So hard to define, but easy to defy.
A mental high.

Drink Up Beautiful

I saw you today.
The look you had was filled with dismay.
Why? Why are you sad?
Don't tell me you miss me. Don't say what you wish you had.
My words, my love, my warmth.
Look at yourself. Depressed?
Look at me, and take a guess.
Drink from the fountain of compression.
Combined feelings to fit this space for depression.
Drink up beautiful. Your cup is filled with anguish.
You added the substance, Relinquish.
Give up? You already did.
You left me in the rain. Lord Forgive.
Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's me.
What have I wrong, can you even see?
Misery? Do you feel it? I live it.
You use it against others.
Your ammunition full with my heart.
Your the firearm. Which part? The trigger.
You call the shots. You place the wound.
This battlefield is running out of room.
No more room for lust.
I see your face, I'm filled with disgust.
Drink up beautiful.

Gone

Everything I once held dear is lost.
The value to have it back has no cost.
What happened? All my love, used.
Now I have nothing but these memories of being abused.
Abused by her words and actions.
She left me in with these unsolvable fractions.
Unevenly split up. She has everything she did but
lost nothing but this kid.
This something of a person she can control.
The power of love, behold.
Sit me down, tell me your hate.
Look into my eye's, tell me my fate.
What will happen to this scarred body?
Picked up the gun, shot me.
Was that supposed to happen?
You tell me captain.
The mellow light you shone down upon my soul.
It's warmth touching my skin, but I'm cold.
I need your warmth. The heat.
It unbearable, and it runs through my head and my feet.
I can't imagine it now.
The last time you came over,
you promised a kiss. A simple touch.
You had an excuse, it didn't take much.
Cried. All night. Did you know that?
I didn't tell you. It might have hurt you.

Can't Look At Your Face

I can't look at your face.
This empty heart in this case.
I hear your voice and laughter.
You get over it, soon after.
Celebrate. Enjoy your happy life.
Don't think about me again, empty sight.
Stop trying to see,
what you missed in me.
I'll stop trying to be, what you wanted me to be.
Your's. I can't look at you.
I can't be your friend.
This is the end.
Don't talk to me. Don't touch me.
Don't call me. Don't care for me.
I don't need your sympathy.
I sense your near.
I feel your warmth.
I release a tear.
But you won't.
Before, you said love.
Love. Define it.
It's a word that never seems to fit.
For you. For me. For us.
What I was feeling is lust.
I didn't love you. Young.
That's what we are.
My age left me hung,
by the noose from afar.

I Took The Shot

Maybe I'm sorry,
maybe I'm not.
This isn't easy for me,
since I took the shot.
The bullet of pain and misery.
The gun of hardship and backfire.
For The wound that's killing me,
I have no desire.
Where is your necklace.
It holds my love, now its worthless.
Keep it girl, let it teach you something.
The pain that can live in a human being.
No big deal to you, just something to set aside.
Something to stare at wile you sit beside.
Beside my spirit of love. You have it.
You have mine. It fits.
The spirit and the necklace. Ignore them.
Feel them. See them. Wear them. Keep them.
Keep them.
Maybe your sorry. I doubt this.
But I was for sure when I got that kiss,
that you loved me.
My heart now small, struggling to beat.
Its burning up, from this emotional heat.
It sings to me. It tells me about you.
I see, but there is nothing I can do.
Go on. Go on. Go on.
Love those guys you so highly exalt.
They will soon look back a realize, its all your fault.
Maybe your sorry.
Maybe your not.
This is easy for you.
Since they take the shot.
I took the shot.

Water and Rye

It's sad that you can't see.
It hurts knowing we can't be,
together.
Never ending, ever loving, so I thought.
Did you even love me? I guess not.
I needed you, I needed the touch of your skin.
Without them, this relationship has come to an end.
I feel the breeze hitting my face.
Hits me, because I can't stay the same pace.
Can't keep up, its to fast,
like the net you forgot to cast.
Didn't tell me ahead of time.
Tonight, all I have is water and rye.
All she has is water and rye.
When I see her, or even think about her, I cry.
Not physically, but from the pain inside.
Lier. Heart breaker. Forgetful. Unseeing.
The pain is everything but a human feeling.
Monster. You took down the weak,
now I have nothing to seek.