Infection

You think you see the world and all its treasures.
You assume the world has no pain, but simple pleasures.
I wait until the day you fall into the trap of depression.
Wake up, and feel the grasp of tight compression.
Bottled feelings kept within the boundaries of comfort.
Misunderstood assumptions stay with the mind. No effort.
No strength put forth to make yourself realize the truth.
Instead, you keep telling this lie of empty proof.
Learn what it's like to have the devil under your chin.
Making sure the lies and sins you tell never end.
Soon the burning within the heart starts to infect.
You cant take the pain. You fall to surgery and inject.
Inject the toxins of the living. Soon to drive you insane.
Side affects, defects, intersect into your very brain.
Bring forth the forever wounded. What became, of the scar.
The longing memory you hold filled with breakdowns and shame.
See this cut filled with puss and realize, what you truly became.
Cleanse the penetration of broken love and emotions.
Feel the antidote flow and wash away these deep erosions.
The stinging process frees you of ailment and worries.
No longer going back to one you love. Your new heart curious.
Rejecting the offer of short term affection, you find something above.
Someone with the absolute cure to your sickness and the gift of love.

Look Right Here

You're crawling into my arms to sleep.
Hold your soft head upon my chest.
You look up into my eyes, the affection begins to seep.
We think through everything, then forget the rest.
Your cheeks a soft tone of beauty.
Seeing this side of you, is so new to me.
Please don't look away my love.
Stare into this world of nothing else.
Nothing but you and me, that is everything we need.
Living on love. Loving to live.
We need each other, and hold everything out to give.
I'll give it all to you my sweet dear.
Don't regret anything. Not a single tear.
Leave it behind in the world of reality.
Come and rest in my heart. Be a part of me.
Your precious, adorable heart.
I hold in my grasp, only to become part.
Feel my skin against yours. Unbearable.
I touch your gentle, calm face, being so careful.
Please don't look away my love.
Look right here.

Insane

I'm grown mad from my own loneliness.
Beaten to a disabled lover, I feel nothing.
Tired of my self. Tired of her. What is with this.
Speak louder I can't hear. Your words no longer cleansing.
God. Help me. True insanity comes from the mind.
Was this meant to be? My life left behind?
Cleanse me of this hatred I hold for others.
Fill those crevices with new love. Open these shutters.
Let the light in. Let me see your grace oh Lord.
My mind rips the layer of normality with a longsword.
Breaking through towards my own mental illness.
For thine is the power, help me refill this. Feel this.
No longer breathing, I fall to the dirt unconscious.
No longer caring, I rise to the lord, with nothing to miss.
Save me. Love me. Show me you're able to do these things.
I've torn myself apart. What more can this world bring?
With a savaged heart, I turn to nothing but dead ends.
Falling for these pleasures, which I soon depend.
I miss her. My arms bends to slowly extend.
Nothing to hold, and no where to begin.
Crying harder and harder, only to see my own my pain.
I wish you could see me now. I'm insane.

Control

Please dear Sir, get away from me.
You don't seem to care, so let me be.
He asked if something was wrong.
I realize it has been that way for too long.
Walk forward pacing. Breathing.
My heart full of confidence. Racing. Seeing.
Destroy all I have. Learn from all I have lost.
You're so disabled towards these feelings. It's so obvious.
Tiredness running thin. I loosen my grip.
My calluses ache. I drink the poison, but only a sip.
Slowly seeping through the tissue of my stomach,
I take the pain, knowing what will happen next. All of it.
The whole story, even the ending scene.
Where I loose all I have and my control over everything.

Tired Of This

I grow so unbearably tired from this blame.
Take me into your dark room, and shout my shame.
Tell me what I am. Tell me what I'm not.
But don't you ever, talk about how I fought.
How I lost everyone and everything on a gamble.
You run your mouth with ease, stop your ramble.
Look at what you've done. Close your eyes.
There are so many things you need to realize.
I throw my life away for the emotions you pretend to hold.
Get up off your feet. Touch my temperature. Cold.
Wake up to your problems. Dream about your problems.
Nothing will change. I feel it coming down.
Bag on me. Throw your shit strait at me. Have me resolve this.
Stop your performance of caring towards my heart.
The very friends we once were, have fallen apart.
Stop looking for the pieces. Leave me be, with me.
Yours text means nothing on a screen. Feel me.
Stop looking. I don't want you coming back anymore.
Stop retreating to your fallback, and realize the floor.
Its right under your feet. A hard and stable surface.
I did what I could. Your knees bend and fold. Kiss.
Kiss the floor with cold lips. Cement solid for bliss.
Hit the skies and fall tonight. Pray to your true lord, I'm not the knight.

Lips Touch

Looking back, I see everything I should have done.
Trying to forget, but knowing there was some.
Some connection. Some love. I'm through with you.
A huge deception? Surely not. We both knew.
The night I no longer try to see in my mind.
The night I no longer look forward to thinking about.
Simple imagery of your soft, warm lit face in front of mine.
No longer so beautiful. But instead, a different route.
Your ice filled heart seeping out through your eyes.
I gaze into them, only to be tricked and hypnotized.
Your cold, chapped lips. Discrete from the warmth I knew.
The ones I can't seem to remember avoiding. No visual cue.
All lies. All of these recent thoughts. Mental lies.
Lovingly, my mind lingers and hopes for the same tonight.
I get back on my feet from these scratched hands a bloody knees.
Leaving nothing but a smile. The true feeling, once in a wile.
Leaning closer. The warmth of your lips brush against mine.
Stop. My selfishness taking over, leave it behind.
Lord, help me past these wonderful needs and wants.
I no longer want what I had. I truly want it, but know I can't confront.
I cant face anymore of that depression I once held.
Know that I wanted it so much, but can't take that.
I can't take all of the many pleasures you give to me.
When I have nothing left to give to you, still feelings guilty.
I can't stop thinking of your gentle face.
I close my eyes, as I think, and fall into a haze.

Past Dream

My body consumed by the love from your heart.
Your arms slowly wrap around me. Never apart.
You and I both wish the separation is never to come.
When you add love, care, and truth, you get a definite sum.
The wrinkles in your shirt stretch to a soft smooth.
We hold each other for the time being, trying not to move.
Communication from the vibrations of our hearts.
Both up to a fast pace. Your eyes look into mine. A start
So incredibly beautiful. So beautiful. Let me hold you always.
Your brows flex to an amazing, yet wondrous gaze.
Your back set on my palm. I can't look away.
The force of attraction between yours eye's and mine stay.
Drink up the joy my lungs now grasp for you to hold.
I open my mouth releasing my words of affection in bold.
Whispering them quietly into your ear, but a mental scream.
I will love you forever and always. Nothing but a dream.

Enter My Mind

Come back into my heart.
Don't leave me in different parts.
You did before, and I fear what for.
Why did you do this to me then?
Did I deserve the torturous beatings you gave me?
You wouldn't let me die, mentally or physically.
This time I see you with the welcoming of many.
Of many unbroken hearts, and needing times.
The times I need to recover from unspoken rhymes.
So lead me not into temptation,
but deliver me from evil.
For thine is the power of love and confrontation.
Enter my heart and leave me full.
Hallowed be thy Name.
Sacred love found, and needed love came.
Now with consideration, love enters the mind.

Stopped Intoxicating

For at least a while, these toxins seem to hold.
Only doing it to see a smile that is now seeming old.
Keeping me well. Keeping me normal.
I stop. Physical hell. These friends seem formal.
Wake up to reality and see the light of normality.
All the wrong memories of all the wrong things.
Seem to follow my trail. I wait to see who it brings.
People I don't even know, forcing these chemicals.
Now needing this help. Real drugs are for fools.
Ask for help, spend the time. Get help, pay the money.
My brain seeming fried, no longer seeming funny.
No longer can I enjoy these substances.
Knowing they will affect the circumstances.
Nothing matters. Leave me be.
No more love, seemingly.

Unthinkable

Throbbing through the never ending days.
It stings the soul with a sharp blade.
No questions. I can't tell myself to care.
I can't make myself care. Nothing new in the air.
Breathing to stay. Staying live.
Living to help. Helping to give.
Innocent enough, I fall into the pressure.
My ears ache and pop from the height.
Above the ground, I see above your mind.
Above your thoughts. Above and behind.
Realize I'm more than one who judges
An intruder. I know you. I don't hold grudges.
I scream. My lungs flow with the power of love.
I just wish, there was someone above.
To see right through me. To see my knowledge.
To show everyone I can surpass the mere existence of life.
Still confused by my logic, you read on.
Read this. Read it again. On and on.
Stop. Think about it.
Illiterately enough, you think you understand.
But I'm the only one playing in this one man band.
Get into my head. I explain it.
You listen carefully harshly abused by my words.
The vocab from my heart spills into the deepest feelings.
Help? Thank-you for trying.
But at the moment, I'm the one lying.
Never being able to express this.
Never having the truth in my face.
I see flaws. I see mistakes.
I dare not speak, for my words seem fake.
Untold to your mental self esteem.
Emotions speaks for us all.
Emotion.
They burn in the night.
Devouring maximum flammability.
Overcoming the tallest flame, they crackle.
Listen.
Listen to flames. Burn me to death.
Hurting every unit of life I've built.
Let the flames die. Put them out
of their misery.

Confusion Compressed In Love

Confusing love. Lovingly confused.
The power of love, wrongfully abused.
Understand the basics of compassion.
Then try to comprehend the bold caption.
The text that needs to be understood.
No one understands, no one could.
The power of love compels the human soul.
Love is needed, pain is simply cold.
Unwanted. Unneeded. Exists to show you it's there.
The mixture of mind and personal affection.
The power of protection and mental deflection.
The feeling of great compassion soon brings emotional extraction.
The end relationship sealed with the essence of truth.
Careful now. One chance to take it in.
Pay attention and be sure to listen.
Spilling my heart. Every bit of love compressed.
Squeezed into the tiny form of communication we call words.
All of my feelings soon expressed into verbs.
Let it flow from your heart and reflect in your eyes.
You try to hide the words like some clever disguise.
Reveal them to me love. Show me the real feeling.
Always here, awaiting your talk of me.
Awaiting the talk of your life.
The blind-spots you can't see. Here's a light.

Untitled

Dreaming quietly only to be disturbed by the scenes you send.
Hard lit image of your face, seen too much. Help me bend.
Help me get over the long grudge of lost love. Tell me you miss me.
Do you know what I am thinking of? Let me tell you, maybe then, you will see.
Pain. Without your godforsaken warmth and love, I crumble.
I can't hold on to myself. The thought of you makes me fumble.
I dreamt of an empty room, you and me. I burst out my true feelings.
I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. My emotions peeling.
I look at your face. Unable to describe it, like I've done so many times before.
You give me a similar look. The exact one you gave me on The Night.
The night we shed our feelings, our opinions, from each others sight.
The look you gave me, before you kissed me. Before you kissed me.
Look at me. I've gone insane from just the mere thought of your scent.
I reach out to hug you. I care about you. I love you.
Not the same as I did, but friendly love. What friends go through.
Kill me. Kill me now. Take my soul. I don't want to live this hell.
I've crashed, broken down. I can't go on. I fell from your grasp.
You let me go. I loosened my grip, for you. Forget my name.
Forget what I became, after you destroyed the boy you once loved.
I'm so sorry.

I wrote this before the date posted.