Lips Touch

Looking back, I see everything I should have done.
Trying to forget, but knowing there was some.
Some connection. Some love. I'm through with you.
A huge deception? Surely not. We both knew.
The night I no longer try to see in my mind.
The night I no longer look forward to thinking about.
Simple imagery of your soft, warm lit face in front of mine.
No longer so beautiful. But instead, a different route.
Your ice filled heart seeping out through your eyes.
I gaze into them, only to be tricked and hypnotized.
Your cold, chapped lips. Discrete from the warmth I knew.
The ones I can't seem to remember avoiding. No visual cue.
All lies. All of these recent thoughts. Mental lies.
Lovingly, my mind lingers and hopes for the same tonight.
I get back on my feet from these scratched hands a bloody knees.
Leaving nothing but a smile. The true feeling, once in a wile.
Leaning closer. The warmth of your lips brush against mine.
Stop. My selfishness taking over, leave it behind.
Lord, help me past these wonderful needs and wants.
I no longer want what I had. I truly want it, but know I can't confront.
I cant face anymore of that depression I once held.
Know that I wanted it so much, but can't take that.
I can't take all of the many pleasures you give to me.
When I have nothing left to give to you, still feelings guilty.
I can't stop thinking of your gentle face.
I close my eyes, as I think, and fall into a haze.