Did Love You

Closer to alone,
but not far from home.
Wanting less, getting more,
receiving what I've had before.
The same thing, a different meaning,
your looking, but I'm the only one seeing,
what's been going on.
What I have is all now gone.
Moved on. Gone. away,
wasn't long, before she had to say,
things changed, you changed.
What's wrong girl?
It's over, is this for real?
Lost meaning in my heart,
Your name I try to start.
Can't finish. These tears drown me.
My heart now dead, you still won't see.
I'm sorry. I'm not sure why, but I see pain.
Your pain isn't much, but drives me insane.
I want to help, want to help you.
Your capacity in my heart has grown few.
I did love you. Did.

More Than Love

I thought it was more than teen affection.
She made it more than mental desolation.
Our love was not simple, so I thought.
Then I realized, she has everything I'm not.
She has a personality, a reputation.
I have a heart with filtration.
Simple needs in a girl.
Love, personality. She had a portion.
Little love, too much personality. My abortion.
Someone take me in, love me.
I need to begin, I need to see.
She wasn't my only choice.
I gave her my love, no rejoice.
All of it. Gone.
She was someone I could count on.
Behind me it's not,
it is something that still needs to be forgot.
Forgive her? How could I?
How can I forgive suffering and lies.
I wouldn't do that.
Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.
I gave you your space,
but all you gave me was disgrace.
Turned against. Let go.
You do not even know.
Sedation of love kept me asleep,
now I have nothing left to keep.
No more love. I don't want it back beautiful.
Keep it. Let it sink in, let the pain fulfill.
Feel what I went through, mental kill.
Sorry if I changed. We all do,
but I still can't believe it was the only reason you
left me. Friends. All I have now.
I can count on them, someone I will allow.
Not someone who will stab me in the back.
You just took one big whack.
The fact that you broke up with me isn't the issue.
Its what you did in the process too.
We had everything planned.
Us two, waiting for the land.
The breakup. We knew this wouldn't last.
The setup. You knew I wasn't fast.
Fast enough to make the decision to end it before you did.
Fast enough to to forgive.
Leave with no sympathy cold heart.
Where to go now? Where to start?

What Now

Over. Done. Ended.
The way I feel and the way I am.
She was my everything. She's gone.
She loved me, took me by the hand,
but left me at the heart. So long.
How many day's will I sit here,
knowing I love you my dear.
Irresistible. Trying to forget.
Just how far we didn't get.
How far we did get. I'm not sure.
The last time I fall for your beautiful lure.
To the extent of love. Impression.
No other. Left in depression.
My dignity, my pride.
Left behind because it couldn't hide.
Didn't know how to escape, with more a than meaning.
Love. I'm not believing.
You loved me? You cared about me?
Now it's this broken heart you can't see.
Wakeup to reality babe. Wakeup to truth.
I'm hurt. See my pain.
Feel it, for you are to blame.
Just once. Notice me. Notice me.
You can't leave me behind.
You just don't see,
because you choose to be blind.
What now? You leave me in emptiness.
All I wanted was one last kiss.
A reason. An excuse, why you ended it.
Tell me. I've already been hit.
Why not take another shot?
I'm in the view, what have you got?
The heart to tell me? No.
The heart to hurt me? Yes.

Let Me See

Lonely. Solitary. Nameless.
All unique feelings only some feel.
You sit there, no hurt. Painless.
Your perfect life, never needing to heal.
Maybe not, either way, it seems better,
when I have nothing left but this empty letter.
Writing to no one but me.
Others read, but they do not see.
The person who sits here day after day,
feeling the sorrow of so much dismay.
God help me. Lord save me.
Give my soul life, make me happy.
Bring joy to my heart,
because right now, it's being ripped apart.
So close. So very close.
Almost. Almost there.
No one cares.
No one seems to. I see no action.
These friends want to help, but for their own fraction.
For their own credit from the lord.
Thinking it will bring them closer to the almighty sword,
of Christ.
Friends help you for your good. Not their own.
They help until you are fully healed and grown.
Regained full strength. Strong.
Happy. Feeling like you belong.
Light of the word, you stare down into darkness.
Open my eye's, let me see.

A New

I did this to myself.
I chose the wrong shelf.
The right place to find the wrong book.
I didn't read the review, all I needed was a look.
That's all it took, to see you were no good.
I was distracted. There was no way I could.
Your beauty and happiness caught my attention.
But now the tension to end this is redemption.
Save me from this speeding car I can no longer control.
Save me, this relationship is finally taking it's toll.
You have to end it. I don't have the heart.
End this before I can no longer start.
No longer think because I'm addicted to you.
I will no loner be able to feel a new,
a new kind of happiness. A new kind of love.
I sit on my bed. Looking at you.
the only picture I have, is not something new.
I've seen it more than I can count.
But where are you really, I shout.
Where is the angel I no longer can adore?
Where is the girl that I can't love anymore?
I sit on my bed, looking for you.
Knowing you won't be there, but hoping soon.
Soon you will arrive to tell me the end.
Maybe you won't, you don't want me to begin,
a new.