Llama Po-A-Tree

ATTENTION

2008-12-06T23:21:00.000-08:00

You can find all of my new pieces here

http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/lamaz1928/

Karma

2008-11-28T14:55:00.000-08:00

Karma prickling up your back, consuming your head.
Devouring the very mental image, the modern day spread.
Making you think about what you did. What you said.
Sins upon thought and reaction, bring nothing but dread.
So fall upon truth and lies. Fall for thought instead.
For what is new and what is lost, has already been said.
Wars to be fought. Battles to lost. Blood to be shed.
Let the rules of karma slither into an unseen thread.
So small. So invisible, that not a thought is said.
Steal this dignity I've held. Tear it to shreds.
The reoccurrence of karma, stands right up ahead.

Again And Again

2008-11-25T20:08:00.001-08:00

Stroke my cheeks with your soft fingertips.
Extend your arm to find a resting place around my hips.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you love this.
Then take one last look, close yours, and kiss.
This heart free falling from the highest mountain.
Only to be caught by your loving passion.
My stiffening fingers type on these cold keys.
Only to show you my true and honest feelings.

Love, text me back. I sit in this leather chair.
Cold against my thighs, without your care.
Your sweet warmth enlightening the room.
You close those mending eyes too soon.

Love, call me tonight. I lie on this bed.
These rhymes in my head, waiting to be read.
By those beautiful blessings you call eyes.
I hold you tight, and keep them disguised,
until later tonight,when I release them.

Love, kiss me now. I dream in your smile.
Leave us be, at least for a wile.
Brushing against your sweet skin, is my touch.
An angel descending before me. You bring much.
Lingering smoothly across your neck.
We lean towards knowing what to expect.
But love, lets take a different route.
A kiss upon your cheek. Your smooth chin.
A glorious pleasure. I kiss again.
Again and again, you stop me with words.
I love you, you begin. I see you grin.
Again and again, with no such end.

She Says I Love You

2008-11-24T16:49:00.000-08:00

Walking past that bench we both know.
Great times upon emotional ones.
As our hands sway to and fro, speech comes.
A bench, she says knowing.
She sits down as we both know what's coming.

My arm daces over your soft shoulder.
Reaching for rapture, I stroke your hair.
So much colder than we know, but we don't care.
Love provides for the ones who need it.
Cold creeping past our bench, it barely nips.

Clinging to my body, you seek warmth and love.
We find it in each others eyes. You look above.
Your sweet head resting upon my sturdy chest.
Wind blowing roughly, the cold's best.
Your voice sings those sweet words,
I listen carefully, finding the speech of her's.

I love you
she says.

I love you
I respond.

Kiss.

No other words to describe such a quick action.
Such a sign of love, lasting no longer than a fraction.
A fraction well spent of my time.
But to leave the reality behind for you, it's worth it.
Look me in the eyes. Don't look away love.

Eyes coming to dry feeling, you blink.
So adorable in the most amazing way.
Makes me think, just what you would say.
So I simply ask you.
Your lips open and start with these few.

I love you
she says.

I love you
I respond.

Kiss.

Look here. I've got your beautiful heart.
In my hands, I hold it carefully, never to part.
Writing with the will of making you smile.
These words extend happily for many miles.
Never to end. Look for the thinking behind my words.
Read it all again, and single out the verbs.

My arm tightly around your waist, we sit anxious.
Your arms wrapping my own waist.
You start with haste, and we move cautious.
Your head and neck and lips erecting as one.
Your beautiful eyes close, we aren't done.
So close, I can feel your lips.
You whisper in my ear.

I love you
she says.

I love you
I respond.

Kiss.

To Try It Again

2008-11-24T08:57:00.001-08:00

These repetitive words stop at raw emotion.
God, only you know what I truly mean, behind this curtain.
I can't breathe without the warm perfume you exhale.
Reminding me of your smooth hair, now seeming frail.
This love, I'm afraid to say, is not yours Lord.
The wondrous beauty I hold in the air, shifts like a chord.
Strumming to the beat of my heart, sings her voice.
Slow and enchanting, my tone shouts to rejoice,
I love you, I scream wielding the power of many.
Your lips move closer, only to stop at pity.
Gazing into each, our eyes meet with a bloom.
Creations of love and life, within this very room.
But, I need more girl. I need more than simply this.
Your smile, your love, your fragile kiss.
I'm in love with the physical, but need desire.
I need to love you for more than this fire.
More than this rage building to see you, when I can't.
I wait hesitantly. I can't. I won't.
Tired of waiting, we make this relation end.
Beauty reaches the end of insanity,
driving towards the edge of madness.
My mind coming to the yield sign of reality,
each of us stop with a feeling of sadness.
Don't tell me about it girl. I know.
Been through this, even though, I was foolish enough,
to try it again.

Another Wasted Love

2008-11-22T17:57:00.000-08:00

Step outside. Feel the cold my love. My one.
Look towards the sky, above yet gone,
is the one thing we've waited so long for.
Time to know one another. Time to hold each other.
Time to fall for each other. Time to feel one another.
Dry as the air we inhale, is my lonesome heart.
Taking more in, only becoming further apart.
Oh my god, let me love her until my mind crashes.
Pick up the stakes, drive them into me, creating gashes.
Frigidness overcoming my self control.
Sending shivers down my body, you save me from the cold.
Your arms around my waist. Your hands gripping my ribs.
Lay your head upon my skin, as my body shifts.
You try to rid the cold with the warmth you hold.
You're shivering, she says. Lips unable to move.
Right after this girl, I will accept the rage of depression.
No way of communication, I show desolation.
My heart crumbles beneath the body of nothing.
You're not here keeping me up. Crumbling.
These few words rip my throat apart with aggression,
as I slowly fall into the heartfelt trap of depression.
Soon unable to speak from continuous weep.
These words haunt my mind, continuing to reap.
My eyes grow fond of the printed paper.
A photograph containing beauty, I hold my temper.
God, these hands contain rough callouses.
Working the shift for you, I realize instances.
Her love controlling my love of you.
Makes me ask myself, if my heart of you, is true.
But dear Lord, enter thy heart with your presence.
Show me you're here. Your very existance.
Crusted puss ripped from this scab.
Only to re-open this wound that drips of mad.
Trickle. The infection passing as the blood flows.
Over my skin, the acid begins to slow.
As my skin twists and tuns, so does the blood.
Crackling. Flaking off of my awful cut.
Another wasted love, unable to think of.
The sadness is too much. Lonely again, cut.
Another wasted love, unable to think of.
The line continues through past my throat.
Another wasted love, unable to think of.
Causing cold blue. Here, take my coat.
I can't go on. Stop writing she says.
My love grows old. Today, no more love.
Another wasted love, unable to think of.

Regretful Touches

2008-11-20T18:38:00.001-08:00

Look me straight into these eyes and tell me.
Inhaling your burden, you made it mine to see.
Reading the scripture of your mind, you beg and plead.
Don't. Please don't,
See me.
See who I am and what I can do.
Rip you from all your love and nothing new.
No where to begin in our new world.
I look past it all, only seeing you girl.
Dissect the pain out of my head.
But not seeing a reason, from what you said.
Damn the structure I've built. Burn this from inside.
The barbed blade rutting my wrist, soon turns to suicide.
Take one look at my shaking body. Cry.
I want to see these tears falling from your eyes.
Holding you. I've written so much for the feeling.
Now, the flames singe my skin. Layers peeling.
The sodium extracting from my sweat.
Leaving me hotter an hotter, making myself regret,
ever touching you.

Flowing Essence

2008-11-19T18:08:00.001-08:00

I raise my arm, seeking the jacket that holds your sacred essence.
The fragrance slowly illuminating the light around me.
Bringing out the best scent, wile your light helps me see.
Inhaling your addicting coke-like properties.
Left behind to stop me in my tracks, so I can sense thee.
Far and near, I seek the odor of my thy I need.
My nose resting upon the sleeve containing.
Making sure it's still there, and not degrading.
Making sure your still with me, and not detaining,
the love I speak.

Am Really

2008-11-18T19:55:00.001-08:00

When my mind falls below the debt of sin,
you seem to catch me before the devil can begin.
My soul deserving of misery.
Already holding hardship, you kiss me softly.
Lips flowing with the lighting of angels.
Against mine, my love then unstable.
Passing through the gates to heaven,
exactly what we wished for at eleven eleven.
Holding the edge of my lips, soundless and calm.
Your essence runs into mine, as if nothing wrong.
Reach my imperfections and leave me.
My prediction wrong, I realize surrounding.
Surrounding your revealing heart,
only to be awaken as you aren't.
Sleep. Let the passion impose past you.
Love will last forever like it shouldn't do.
My nameless pains reach the feet of your own.
Sudden realization of me, but you've always known.
Don't leave me. Sooth this pain only you can heal.
Only in my dreams. That is what I choose to feel.
I only hope we stay, in this in this pain to soon reveal.

Love Index

2008-11-14T19:29:00.000-08:00

Grass slowing crunching beneath my jeans.
No longer walking but simply doing what I came to do.
I look right up into the clouds, wile listening to the birds scream.
Finding the perfect mate, the birds fly as a new.
A new couple. A new favorite bird. A new friend.
They fly into light blue oblivion to look for nothing but the end.
The sweet delicacy of their small pounding hearts.
Get them through love and life, soon to depart.
Looking past peripheral, I see the smile of a goddess.
Smiling back I notice our Lord brought this.
Gave us this happiness and time together.
To think our relation over and enjoy each other.
Turning my head to see your sweet face clearer than ever.
Drawing my arm to touch your glowing hand.
Looking right into the beauty that is your eyes, so high in demand.
Every want and need in the world disappearing into nothing.
We relax our backs to find a slow stop at the ground.
From a different perspective, nothing.
From our own hearts, we know every bit and sound.
Every piece of each other, we tell vividly to ourselves.
We peer into each others mind, only to stop at assumptions.
The eager thought rebounds in our mind, our heart swells.
We both dwell past this thought as our imagination runs.

I
love
you

The words index into my soul to find feelings behind each file.
Replacing the current file only to make sweeter sense.
Seeping into your smile, we pass accomplishments.
Each of us sitting up, we still exchange glances.
You look deeper, beyond my pupils, to find chances.
Chances to show further affection. Chances to show love.
Both knowing the right direction, to assume of.
Slowly but eagerly, we extend our necks to find soft lips.
Releasing every bit of normality to face the rawness of a kiss.
Wanting more, and getting it. Nothing to fear. Nerves left.
With you, my thoughts clear to be replaced by theft.
My heart stolen by, not the kiss, but what the kiss means.
Look me in the eyes after, and tell me your mental screams.
Your mental words and your real thinking.
Tell me of your thumping heart, and why its beating so proud.
Why does the sound keep repeating? Seeming so very loud.
The continuation of love and adulation steaming from your breath.
Slowly creeping up my lips as the whisper ends the rest.
Touch my chest with your fingers and head so you can rest.
My arm holding your waist to keep you close.
We sit for hours under our own control, both so close.

I
love
you

Look

2008-11-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

See into my mind and look past my physical self.
I hope you find what you're looking for on this shelf.
Used. Read. Abused. A damaged biography with everything of you.
Through painful stories of lost love, I find a new.
I see the final love story. I read it. The perfect match.
Come into my life to make the high-fly catch.
Reaching for conclusion, I extend my arm for the feel.
My chest hitting the dirt covered ground as I steal.
Steal the objectives already reached to move further.
My run comes to an out as I stop to see her.
Everything I've ever wanted at the perfect time.
Continue to love me and care for me as we leave love-struck behind.
Nerves coming to a wondrous clam, finally getting it.
You don't have to love and have physical attraction to fit.
Fit the empty spot in your hear with a name.
Replace it with affection and care, to see what this girl became.
I look now to find the miracle that contains, my heart.

So Far Apart

2008-11-10T16:08:00.001-08:00

I scream your name with a heart pounding screech.
You're so far away, but I know you can hear my speech.
My true feelings into words, to your heart and your lovely soul.
They reach out. Only receiving your spirit, I cry in this cold.
Alone and so far away, you leave me. Not meaning to, but doing so.
Tonight will be a lonely one without the treble and bass of your voice.
Filling every part of my body, terribly I seek your face. No choice.
Either way, you're there, not here, with me. Lord, soon, let this be.
I want the feel of her smooth skin rolling across my stomach.
I want the eyes of an angel, staring right back at me. My heart lit.
Keep this flame of connection alive. I want to be with you always.
See this flame rising only to die. Only to keep you with me someways.
Mentally, or for real. I will always need more of your sweet loving heart.
Loving you always, when you are here, and when we are so far apart.

Let Me Tell You

2008-11-06T16:44:00.001-08:00

Falling into the pure perfume essence of love.
Letting it fill the head with thoughts from above.
Letting your Lord and Lover into your very mind.
Nothing to regret, knowing what they seek and find.
Please baby dont go, I love you. You're mine.
Holding you tight. Body heat radiating from your heart.
Beating loud and fast. Unconsciously, our eyes never part.
Staring into each others as if we witnessed a miracle.
I move your bangs from your face. So beautiful.
I want nothing but the love you release from within.
Feeling your body against mine, brushing your skin.
Our fingertips keep the grasp, as lips move in.
Gently erecting my neck to the perfect position,
I watch your eyes close and fall into perfection.
Everything stops. Nothing but air holding the silence.
Out of this world, we stop breathing, just for this.
Lead me to your lips. I follow the warmth to our kiss.
Slowly falling away, I fall into mental bliss. Over.
Over with. Done with. I can't believe it.
Only the one holding true love knows how to control it.
I pray to the Lord, once more. Once more.
Looking into your eyes, I feel the sense of repetition.
You lean closer to me. I stay where I am.
I slowly extend my arm to find your back. Temptation.
Holding you gently, knowing you can.
You can simply relax in my arms. Your sweet scent filling.
The words I love you send a sudden alarm, distilling.
Breaking down the words into such a thing as action.
I continue to hold you, as we then rest in satisfaction.
Let me tell you, just how great it is.

Love And Feelings

2008-11-03T17:08:00.000-08:00

Every time I seem to come back to this place,
I feel this sadness in my soul, and show it on my face.
The anger swelled up into the wound we call a heart.

Ask me about what just happened and how I feel.
Strip me of my pride and glory, and seal the deal.
The very existence of reoccurring karma,
gets into my head, as I soon realize I'm dead ahead of harm.

My neck feels weak holding this head I no longer find conscious.
A lot to say. A lot to pray. Get on your knees.
Pray to the one and only Lord, the only one who sees.

You bleed to death under pressure from this aching corpse.
Soon realizing nothing of you is left. You fall without remorse.
Freely and empty you drop like a feather. Gliding without a real course.

Who gave you the permission to touch me. Leave me be and wash your hands.
I hold the the most common disease of all. Found in every corner of land.
Come and find me in my square foot of space.
Everyone has the same case. No one heals at the same pace.

Above the sun and the clouds. I slide your bangs from your eyes.
You smile with the greatest of ease, seeming to despise.
Hating the time taken away to do a simple task such as that.
Clearing your beautiful eyes, you look into mine. Such a task.

What they think. What they say. They don't know, what we say.
To each other and to ourselves. We think for hours.
You can take everything I have, just give me your love.

Expressed through drama, you feed me attention.
Trying to rid you from my mind, I find and odd retraction.
Coming back to my friends after these hard times.
What is a friend? You said never. Forever friends. Look.

Throw this up into the air. Slowly falling up then down,
through this thick fog we see as pollution. Look around.
Our own minds go crazy with solutions. Staying found.
Find another. Find another problem. Seek it, avenge it. See the sound.

See him run. See him leave my dear friend. Not coming back.
Let me help you. Lets see if can save you from his lack.
Lack of consideration. Lack of love. Loss of heart.
He tried to take you whole, but you only gave him part. Thankfully.

This rhyme of sincerity climbs to the top of your thoughts.
Leading you to think beyond yourself, and look who else has fought.
Look at who else has been through the pain you've now forgotten.
Maybe you don't want help, but you're simply lost in,
your own heart.

Feel Me

2008-11-02T16:19:00.001-08:00

I love you. Tired of the three words you say.
Diving into deeper oceans. To the Lord, I pray.
Give me strength to take this relation.
Give me strength to overcome repetitive depression.
Listen to me. You always do my dear.
But just once. Once, be there to wipe my tear.
Be here for me. Come find me tonight.
I'm by myself with no one to hold me tight.
Wrongly enough, you sleep with haunting dreams.
I never see you anymore, so it seems.
Friends bond with friends. Relationships grow.
Every moment without the one I love, I seek from God above.
Give me these precious moments back so I can live.
I have one chance at life, with everything to give.
I'll give you love, heart, and my very soul. All for you.
I wait for another moment, another moment without you.
So I seek the warmth you contain. Feel me.
Rest your head upon my shoulder and watch me bleed.
Bleed these emotions that keep me from sleep.
A love transplant with those emotions I choose to keep.
I faint from the nausea you always give to me.
Love deprived. Love depressed.
Would love to see, just what you see in me.

Our Song

2008-11-02T15:56:00.001-08:00

Stop talking. No one wants to hear you speak.
You hurt everyone and everything. Your so unique.
Look at all you've done. You won't.
In fear of your own mistakes, you don't.
All the beautiful girls you loved, trashed.
Love lost and love broken. Heart attack.
I shake the tower on which you stand.
Trying to get your attention man.
Wake up and see the pain. Feel the cold.
Let it consume you and destroy you. New and old.
Both times of personality. Both were wrong.
How can every song you like, be our song.

Infection

2008-10-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

You think you see the world and all its treasures.
You assume the world has no pain, but simple pleasures.
I wait until the day you fall into the trap of depression.
Wake up, and feel the grasp of tight compression.
Bottled feelings kept within the boundaries of comfort.
Misunderstood assumptions stay with the mind. No effort.
No strength put forth to make yourself realize the truth.
Instead, you keep telling this lie of empty proof.
Learn what it's like to have the devil under your chin.
Making sure the lies and sins you tell never end.
Soon the burning within the heart starts to infect.
You cant take the pain. You fall to surgery and inject.
Inject the toxins of the living. Soon to drive you insane.
Side affects, defects, intersect into your very brain.
Bring forth the forever wounded. What became, of the scar.
The longing memory you hold filled with breakdowns and shame.
See this cut filled with puss and realize, what you truly became.
Cleanse the penetration of broken love and emotions.
Feel the antidote flow and wash away these deep erosions.
The stinging process frees you of ailment and worries.
No longer going back to one you love. Your new heart curious.
Rejecting the offer of short term affection, you find something above.
Someone with the absolute cure to your sickness and the gift of love.

Look Right Here

2008-10-26T14:17:00.001-07:00

You're crawling into my arms to sleep.
Hold your soft head upon my chest.
You look up into my eyes, the affection begins to seep.
We think through everything, then forget the rest.
Your cheeks a soft tone of beauty.
Seeing this side of you, is so new to me.
Please don't look away my love.
Stare into this world of nothing else.
Nothing but you and me, that is everything we need.
Living on love. Loving to live.
We need each other, and hold everything out to give.
I'll give it all to you my sweet dear.
Don't regret anything. Not a single tear.
Leave it behind in the world of reality.
Come and rest in my heart. Be a part of me.
Your precious, adorable heart.
I hold in my grasp, only to become part.
Feel my skin against yours. Unbearable.
I touch your gentle, calm face, being so careful.
Please don't look away my love.
Look right here.

Insane

2008-10-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

I'm grown mad from my own loneliness.
Beaten to a disabled lover, I feel nothing.
Tired of my self. Tired of her. What is with this.
Speak louder I can't hear. Your words no longer cleansing.
God. Help me. True insanity comes from the mind.
Was this meant to be? My life left behind?
Cleanse me of this hatred I hold for others.
Fill those crevices with new love. Open these shutters.
Let the light in. Let me see your grace oh Lord.
My mind rips the layer of normality with a longsword.
Breaking through towards my own mental illness.
For thine is the power, help me refill this. Feel this.
No longer breathing, I fall to the dirt unconscious.
No longer caring, I rise to the lord, with nothing to miss.
Save me. Love me. Show me you're able to do these things.
I've torn myself apart. What more can this world bring?
With a savaged heart, I turn to nothing but dead ends.
Falling for these pleasures, which I soon depend.
I miss her. My arms bends to slowly extend.
Nothing to hold, and no where to begin.
Crying harder and harder, only to see my own my pain.
I wish you could see me now. I'm insane.

Control

2008-10-24T13:48:00.000-07:00

Please dear Sir, get away from me.
You don't seem to care, so let me be.
He asked if something was wrong.
I realize it has been that way for too long.
Walk forward pacing. Breathing.
My heart full of confidence. Racing. Seeing.
Destroy all I have. Learn from all I have lost.
You're so disabled towards these feelings. It's so obvious.
Tiredness running thin. I loosen my grip.
My calluses ache. I drink the poison, but only a sip.
Slowly seeping through the tissue of my stomach,
I take the pain, knowing what will happen next. All of it.
The whole story, even the ending scene.
Where I loose all I have and my control over everything.

Tired Of This

2008-10-21T20:04:00.001-07:00

I grow so unbearably tired from this blame.
Take me into your dark room, and shout my shame.
Tell me what I am. Tell me what I'm not.
But don't you ever, talk about how I fought.
How I lost everyone and everything on a gamble.
You run your mouth with ease, stop your ramble.
Look at what you've done. Close your eyes.
There are so many things you need to realize.
I throw my life away for the emotions you pretend to hold.
Get up off your feet. Touch my temperature. Cold.
Wake up to your problems. Dream about your problems.
Nothing will change. I feel it coming down.
Bag on me. Throw your shit strait at me. Have me resolve this.
Stop your performance of caring towards my heart.
The very friends we once were, have fallen apart.
Stop looking for the pieces. Leave me be, with me.
Yours text means nothing on a screen. Feel me.
Stop looking. I don't want you coming back anymore.
Stop retreating to your fallback, and realize the floor.
Its right under your feet. A hard and stable surface.
I did what I could. Your knees bend and fold. Kiss.
Kiss the floor with cold lips. Cement solid for bliss.
Hit the skies and fall tonight. Pray to your true lord, I'm not the knight.

Lips Touch

2008-10-18T22:57:00.000-07:00

Looking back, I see everything I should have done.
Trying to forget, but knowing there was some.
Some connection. Some love. I'm through with you.
A huge deception? Surely not. We both knew.
The night I no longer try to see in my mind.
The night I no longer look forward to thinking about.
Simple imagery of your soft, warm lit face in front of mine.
No longer so beautiful. But instead, a different route.
Your ice filled heart seeping out through your eyes.
I gaze into them, only to be tricked and hypnotized.
Your cold, chapped lips. Discrete from the warmth I knew.
The ones I can't seem to remember avoiding. No visual cue.
All lies. All of these recent thoughts. Mental lies.
Lovingly, my mind lingers and hopes for the same tonight.
I get back on my feet from these scratched hands a bloody knees.
Leaving nothing but a smile. The true feeling, once in a wile.
Leaning closer. The warmth of your lips brush against mine.
Stop. My selfishness taking over, leave it behind.
Lord, help me past these wonderful needs and wants.
I no longer want what I had. I truly want it, but know I can't confront.
I cant face anymore of that depression I once held.
Know that I wanted it so much, but can't take that.
I can't take all of the many pleasures you give to me.
When I have nothing left to give to you, still feelings guilty.
I can't stop thinking of your gentle face.
I close my eyes, as I think, and fall into a haze.

Past Dream

2008-10-15T20:02:00.000-07:00

My body consumed by the love from your heart.
Your arms slowly wrap around me. Never apart.
You and I both wish the separation is never to come.
When you add love, care, and truth, you get a definite sum.
The wrinkles in your shirt stretch to a soft smooth.
We hold each other for the time being, trying not to move.
Communication from the vibrations of our hearts.
Both up to a fast pace. Your eyes look into mine. A start
So incredibly beautiful. So beautiful. Let me hold you always.
Your brows flex to an amazing, yet wondrous gaze.
Your back set on my palm. I can't look away.
The force of attraction between yours eye's and mine stay.
Drink up the joy my lungs now grasp for you to hold.
I open my mouth releasing my words of affection in bold.
Whispering them quietly into your ear, but a mental scream.
I will love you forever and always. Nothing but a dream.

Enter My Mind

2008-10-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

Come back into my heart.
Don't leave me in different parts.
You did before, and I fear what for.
Why did you do this to me then?
Did I deserve the torturous beatings you gave me?
You wouldn't let me die, mentally or physically.
This time I see you with the welcoming of many.
Of many unbroken hearts, and needing times.
The times I need to recover from unspoken rhymes.
So lead me not into temptation,
but deliver me from evil.
For thine is the power of love and confrontation.
Enter my heart and leave me full.
Hallowed be thy Name.
Sacred love found, and needed love came.
Now with consideration, love enters the mind.

Stopped Intoxicating

2008-10-13T13:38:00.001-07:00

For at least a while, these toxins seem to hold.
Only doing it to see a smile that is now seeming old.
Keeping me well. Keeping me normal.
I stop. Physical hell. These friends seem formal.
Wake up to reality and see the light of normality.
All the wrong memories of all the wrong things.
Seem to follow my trail. I wait to see who it brings.
People I don't even know, forcing these chemicals.
Now needing this help. Real drugs are for fools.
Ask for help, spend the time. Get help, pay the money.
My brain seeming fried, no longer seeming funny.
No longer can I enjoy these substances.
Knowing they will affect the circumstances.
Nothing matters. Leave me be.
No more love, seemingly.

Unthinkable

2008-10-08T18:40:00.000-07:00

Throbbing through the never ending days.
It stings the soul with a sharp blade.
No questions. I can't tell myself to care.
I can't make myself care. Nothing new in the air.
Breathing to stay. Staying live.
Living to help. Helping to give.
Innocent enough, I fall into the pressure.
My ears ache and pop from the height.
Above the ground, I see above your mind.
Above your thoughts. Above and behind.
Realize I'm more than one who judges
An intruder. I know you. I don't hold grudges.
I scream. My lungs flow with the power of love.
I just wish, there was someone above.
To see right through me. To see my knowledge.
To show everyone I can surpass the mere existence of life.
Still confused by my logic, you read on.
Read this. Read it again. On and on.
Stop. Think about it.
Illiterately enough, you think you understand.
But I'm the only one playing in this one man band.
Get into my head. I explain it.
You listen carefully harshly abused by my words.
The vocab from my heart spills into the deepest feelings.
Help? Thank-you for trying.
But at the moment, I'm the one lying.
Never being able to express this.
Never having the truth in my face.
I see flaws. I see mistakes.
I dare not speak, for my words seem fake.
Untold to your mental self esteem.
Emotions speaks for us all.
Emotion.
They burn in the night.
Devouring maximum flammability.
Overcoming the tallest flame, they crackle.
Listen.
Listen to flames. Burn me to death.
Hurting every unit of life I've built.
Let the flames die. Put them out
of their misery.

Confusion Compressed In Love

2008-10-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

Confusing love. Lovingly confused.
The power of love, wrongfully abused.
Understand the basics of compassion.
Then try to comprehend the bold caption.
The text that needs to be understood.
No one understands, no one could.
The power of love compels the human soul.
Love is needed, pain is simply cold.
Unwanted. Unneeded. Exists to show you it's there.
The mixture of mind and personal affection.
The power of protection and mental deflection.
The feeling of great compassion soon brings emotional extraction.
The end relationship sealed with the essence of truth.
Careful now. One chance to take it in.
Pay attention and be sure to listen.
Spilling my heart. Every bit of love compressed.
Squeezed into the tiny form of communication we call words.
All of my feelings soon expressed into verbs.
Let it flow from your heart and reflect in your eyes.
You try to hide the words like some clever disguise.
Reveal them to me love. Show me the real feeling.
Always here, awaiting your talk of me.
Awaiting the talk of your life.
The blind-spots you can't see. Here's a light.

Untitled

2008-10-05T12:19:00.001-07:00

Dreaming quietly only to be disturbed by the scenes you send.
Hard lit image of your face, seen too much. Help me bend.
Help me get over the long grudge of lost love. Tell me you miss me.
Do you know what I am thinking of? Let me tell you, maybe then, you will see.
Pain. Without your godforsaken warmth and love, I crumble.
I can't hold on to myself. The thought of you makes me fumble.
I dreamt of an empty room, you and me. I burst out my true feelings.
I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. My emotions peeling.
I look at your face. Unable to describe it, like I've done so many times before.
You give me a similar look. The exact one you gave me on The Night.
The night we shed our feelings, our opinions, from each others sight.
The look you gave me, before you kissed me. Before you kissed me.
Look at me. I've gone insane from just the mere thought of your scent.
I reach out to hug you. I care about you. I love you.
Not the same as I did, but friendly love. What friends go through.
Kill me. Kill me now. Take my soul. I don't want to live this hell.
I've crashed, broken down. I can't go on. I fell from your grasp.
You let me go. I loosened my grip, for you. Forget my name.
Forget what I became, after you destroyed the boy you once loved.
I'm so sorry.

I wrote this before the date posted.

Don't Touch Me

2008-09-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

Every time. Every time I hurt.
All the time I feel you.
Inside me. Outside my very skin.
Once more, or never again?
Leave me. Leave everything. Drop this whole emotional breakdown.
Lose me. Lose everything. I lost everything. Taken then taken down.
A knife in my hand. I know I look innocent.
The only person I've hurt is myself. No loner decent.
These tears bleed to death, falling down my cheeks.
I feel it. The blood stained skin you no longer see.
You opened your eyes, only when you were apart of me.
This cabinet stores my thoughts, my memories.
The shit you left me remembering.
My eyes soon dry to beat red.
I can't see past your face, when all I am is dead.
Can't see me. I see you. Alive and alone in a world of unconsciousness.
Needs no longer holding me back.
The skin in my face now cracked.
Dryness filling not only my body, but the people around me.
They try to help. They want to help.
Leave me be. The idea fell.

Your Scent

2008-09-19T14:39:00.001-07:00

The sweet fragrance of your skin.
My mind runs in circles again and again.
I want to think of your sweet face. Your sweet smell.
I soon realize we are in the same place, where we first fell.
Where we first realized this feeling was here to stay.
The feeling of being welcome, of being loved. Nothing to say.
After all this time, I have nothing to say to you.
I've wondered so long, hoped so longingly, for just a few.
Only a few moments to truly know you, inside and out.
Listen to your voice. Touch your skin. Learn what your all about.
With no time to waste, we go ahead and begin.
My arm tightly around your waist.
My rough calluses brushing the surface of your skin.
Your soft cheeks resting on my chest.
Quiet. Just the way we both want it. Nothing else.
I try something new. I love you.
Words breaking out of my heart and running through my lips.
When I'm not with you, I have everything to miss.

Hold Me Dear

2008-09-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

Hold me dear. Speak your mind.
What are you thinking? Something to hide?
Don't. Let your emotions out.
These thoughts in my head, now aimlessly about.
Brainstorming every key feature. Every detail.
Can't wait to see her. My heart swells.
Shrinks. Only able to hold the love you tell.
The love you tell me you have for me.
I wait every night, wait and see,
what exactly you have been thinking.
Rest your head upon me. Touch me.
Let yourself be found.
I want to hear you speak the sound.
The sound I love to hear, your voice.
The soft soothing tone.
Flowing through my mind, I pick up the phone.
Knowing what to hear, and loving what I hear.
Your voice. Tell me you need me.
Tell me you love me. Tell me now.
Tell me you miss me. You want me.
I want you. I need you. Save me.

Screaming Streets

2008-09-08T17:41:00.000-07:00

You can take everything I have.
Ill give it all to you.
Everything I need is your love.
You leave me at a stopping point too soon.
Go away down your lonesome road.
I hope you will learn to carry the same load.
The same things I had to deal with. Put up with.
The same things you left me with. No such gift.
I shouldn't have accepted your present of guilt.
I'm left with everything on my back, yet here I sit.
I made it through the hard times, and got passed you.
Nothing I write seems to rhyme, but you still do.
Still ring in my heart. What you left behind.
You took part, in not seeing what kind.
What kind of guy I really am. You don't care.
You walk by me everyday, with that same unconscious stare.
Afraid to look at what I've become?
Or are you afraid to simply come.
Come to smile again to the guy you once knew.
Start something. Become friends. Something new.
Standing in the streets, I scream my heart out.
Listen to my cry, it's all you. Don't pout.
Don't cry yourself for sympathy you don't deserve.
Listen to me, then tell me your story.
You start to speak. Run for home, I'm not sorry.
Don't take the shit you gave me.
Fix you. Fix me. Fix them. Fix the key.

Forever More

2008-09-02T13:52:00.001-07:00

One hope. One final dream.
So far away, so you would seem.
I can't feel the soft vibrancy of your skin.
Ive lost my place, tell me where to begin.
Here? Where love, show me.
I can't take it, continuous bleeding.
Cut me open. See my pain,
Come back into my heart, where you no longer remain.
See my lungs full of unwanted air.
You make me want to die, but I can't share.
Can't share my love for you and love him as well.
I can't go again. No longer this hell.
Pain with or without you. I need you.
I want to know love again. Everything to prove.
I have to prove it. Talk to you. Know you once again.
Hear your voice. I drop my pen.
Stop writing. Begin loving.
Stop the pain. It's still coming.
Stop the flow. Pressure the wound.
Internal bleeding. I need more room.
Room to love, room to show you I care.
Room for you and I. The essence of your hair.
Every little aspect my heart longs for.
Every perfect detail, I remember and adore.
Once more. Another chance.
Do you still see me in this motionless trance?
Not here. Avoid my own hell and live your life.
I fell for you and the knife.
Save me. Pick me up.
Become part of me. Interrupt.
Intrude on my life, make it yours.
Make our lives one, forever more.

True Compassion

2008-08-29T19:43:00.001-07:00

Bright like the sun, the stars shine down.
Not knowing where to begin, we find common ground.
So many things. So many difficulties in me.
The throw them aside, and look at the heart. That's all you see.
The true depth of my soul has been revealed,
to the person that I find unreal.
My heart cries for you. My love shouts,
Pain. Pain. Again, the same repetitive morn.
I prick myself after each and every thorn.
Each and every other heartbreak, I fall.
I lose my strength, myself. I call.
A new. Always a new. Needing more love.
But I can't take the landing, because I was shoved.
Shoved to the harsh ground. Unable to act,
before I have the chance to react.
Forced love. So beautiful, but later, so painful.
Oh my god, I cry every night. Kill me now, save me the fright.
I want to love you lord. I want to know you.
But these distractions are keeping me from the blue.
The wide open space you give me to see the light.
I'm blind and can't see. Save me. Kill me, tonight.
I want to know love.
Friends, family, all loved. All so very dear to me.
But it seems impossible to shed even some of my love, to thee.
Take me from her. Let me know your passion.
I'm falling, save me. True compassion.

The Callout

2008-08-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

Stop looking at me. Don't Show your face.
Just let me be, I keep my own pace.
Go and on with your perfect damn life. Try to hurt me.
Try to destroy every molecule my body contains. You use a knife.
The painful slow way. The way that makes someone go through insanity.
You put me through hell, try profanity. Insecurity.
The words that made me hit the rock of depression.
Sinking lower, and lower, with every expression.
Every little thing you do. Every little smirk you hold.
The color of your eyes. Once a warm brown, now a rush of cold.
Understand the pain of truthfulness, of unforgiving torture.
Realize what you did to me, and how much I suffered.
Lose everything. Try it. Put yourself in my shoes.
But you can't walk in this race. You lose.
All the effort in the world, but nothing to show for it.
The confusing metaphor of teen affection.
An illusion. You see it, you believe it. No connection.
Not for me. Everything about you. Every word you spoke,
kept in tune, until the next mental smoke.
The next time I pull a joint out of my pocket a try it.
The addiction of love. Relaxing, yet troublesome.
Throw it to the ground, I won't take some.
No more. The last call. I'm sorry.
Feel it. Read it. See it. Believe it.
No connection.

Let Your Love Be Strong

2008-08-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

The time means nothing to you. How long?
Believe me when I say, let your love belong.
Belong to me. Belong to others, hold strong.
Hold on. Hold on to me. Don't let go.
Open my eyes, makes me see. Your the guide to show.
Show me the love within the physical image you hold.
Show me the hidden pages in your book. Let them unfold.
Let them reveal themselves as you decide.
Decide to reveal them to me, when the time is right.
So many mysteries your wondrous heart keeps hidden.
Hidden with the secret encryption of your love and soul. Written.
Write it to me. Show me these secrets you have to let out.
Share them with me, tell me your life, and what its all about.
Shout and I will listen. Whisper and I will listen.
Talk to me, and I will talk back. Your heart again.
I listen to your heart beat. It says we can begin.
Start going across the bridge that never ends.
Forever, I will love you.

Too Soon

2008-08-01T10:56:00.001-07:00

Through open eyes, I see nothing but this empty person.
How can you see even a little more.
I feel like the very first one. I hit the floor.
Unable to keep my self up. Unable to stay together.
Words pass through my head like wind through a feather.
Invisible flowing past the unconscious forever.
Incurable. Chronic. Hopeless.
Few things stand the chance of helping.
Everything I once loved. Gone, killed by the sickness. Melting.
Still dissolving within the living fire I live.
Wanting to help others, but unable to give.
Nothing left in me with the willingness to.
Vision of this. So very soon. Too soon. Here.

Knowing Our Love

2008-07-10T20:41:00.001-07:00

They don't know assuming friends.
We both know, that we both hope, this never ends.
I love you. So very much my dear.
All the time, every time, wishing you were here.
With me. With each other.
Know that we each love one another.
Wanting to hold you. Touch your soft skin.
Inviting you to come, just wanting to begin.
One more time. Tell me again and again, that you love me.
I know you do. You have told me so many times before.
I love you too, but need to hear it once more.
The fabric of your T-shirt feels warm.warm against my chest.
This feeling between you and, is one of the best.
Your head gently falls upon my shoulder.
Not wanting time to stop, or us to get any older.
Everything quiet. The secret silence.
We both know. We both stay silent.
Every hour that goes by, I want to hold you a bit tighter.
Every feeling you give me, makes my life a little brighter.

Your Hidden Wonder

2008-07-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

Vibrancy of your eyes. Texture of your skin.
How long have you been in disguise? Hidden.
I never realized just how much beauty you hold.
I never knew just how much your warmth could save me from the cold.
Your love. Your willingness to help others.
Your willingness to help me. No other.
No other makes me smile like you do me.
Just the beauty of your smile is all I need to see.
The cure to depression. The cure to loneliness.
So complex. You love me back. I feel selfish.
I have something so amazing. Your love.
The feeling of loving you. Exhilarating.
The touch of your skin. Wonderful.
My heart no longer empty, but full.
Your head against my chest. I feel your heart beat.
The rush of warmth we both seem to meet.
You give me light, just enough to see.
I gaze upon your gorgeous eyes. How they set me free.
Comfort and love, so much. So little time.
All summed up into this simple rhyme.
Hopefully, you can see just how much,
my love, you really mean to me.

Scream Louder Now

2008-07-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

The sound of yelling for your heart.
Knowing I don't have to, but enjoy being part.
Enjoy giving back what you've given me.
Love, joy, you've made me so happy.
The sound of your heart beating,
leaves this rhythm in my ears, ringing.
Close to me. Just knowing your here is enough.
But you give me love, and so much.
How can I live up to what you have become.
So brilliant, wonderful, happy. Only some.
Only some of the characteristics I can hold.
I can love you back, save you from the cold.
Help you when you need it, and save you from the bold.
Give you my hand, show me the way.
I can't do this alone, I need you everyday.
Everyday I mourn for the sound of your voice.
The sound of your footsteps coming by choice.
Coming for the love that I so pitifully wield.
You strike me with love. I drop the sword and shield.
Knowing we can love with staying protected
Knowing you will love me from your heart, without being rejected.
I scream louder now for the beauty of your heart.
Knowing I have to, because I love being part.
Without you, I'm nothing. I wish we us never apart.

Hold On

2008-06-28T11:15:00.000-07:00

You said hold on, don't let this go to your head.
I look back, at all the things you haven't read.
All the hours I put into feeling and thinking about you.
All the times we had together, wasted. So few.
Together, but with out you. Flying colors, your different hue.
You can't help me. You can't stop the pain.
I wish you could see, the sad boy I became.
Stare into my eyes, and tell me you don't see anything.
Look at me. Look at the pity before scene.
The final act in the performance. The ending.
Get a good look girl, you were pretending.
You were acting to be someone you weren't.
To steal my act, my performance. I learned.
My life, my joy, my love, burned.
Gone, you destroyed the records.
Did go back and take a look at the result afterwards?
No. This road has to many curves.
I don't know where it goes. Show me.
You didn't show me the map. I couldn't see.
I have to make a U-turn on this 2 lane,
Take back all the steps I took and became.
The hard part is getting started.
Help me turn the wheel, so we can be for ever apart.

Our Love's Remote

2008-06-25T22:13:00.001-07:00

Play. The sound of drum rolls playing in my mind.
Stop. The start of leaving friendship behind.
Rewind. The experience so hard to find.
My arm extends to find it's place.
Knowing exactly where to go, and keeping pace.
The warmth already feeling within my skin.
My fingers gently touch your surface. We begin.
The entertainment playing, we have no interest.
I try to hold it back but I can't resist.
My arm gently holding your soft arm,
bringing you closer to me, protecting you from harm.
The fabric in your shirt I brush against my fingers,
you fail you notice, wile your mind lingers.
I look at the screen of the seemingly blank TV.
I look at you, your beauty, it makes me so happy.
I can't stop staring at your gentle face.
I close my eyes, as I think, and fall into a haze.
Thinking of you. Only you.
The girl I love. The girl who loves me back. Only few.
Only few are like you. So many trying.
I compliment you, but your humble, and keep denying.
Open. Your head now resting upon my chest.
So calm. So beautiful. I watch as you rest.
Hours. I could sit with you for hours.
Would you sit with me love?
The moments we both lived together, ours.

Every Moment Spent Well

2008-06-25T00:34:00.000-07:00

I'm always thinking of you. Always loving you.
I want to hold you, Forever and ever. Why so few?
Why so few times we get the chance to share our feelings?
So young they say. Not ready for love. Uncontrollable feelings.
I can't hold them back. You seem to be having them.
Why do they hold us back? We have yet to begin.
Soon, very soon my love, we will together at least for a wile.
Until then, your all I think of. Your beautiful smile.
So delicate, with so little might,
you put in to making my entire night.
Just us two. Me holding you. Lovely memories of us.
Shared with each other, and later we discuss,
what we did, just to make each other smile again.
We have yet to begin my love.
Every moment I spend with you, is a moment spent well.
No regrets. We waited until we fell.
Until we fell for each other within the pit of love and desire.
The warm signals you send remind me of your fire.
The things that dwell within you until we meet once more.
I find them hidden in the deepest part, the core. Your heart.
Every moment is a moment spent well, with you.

Around You

2008-06-23T21:09:00.001-07:00

I look across, I see your beautiful self.
I want to just go ahead, have you to myself.
I reach to put my arm around you,
you move your head, as I sign that I can pass through.
Through the barrier of friends, and onto lovers.
Leaving it behind, and wanting no other, but you.
My fingers gently touching the surface of your skin.
Thinking about what we used to be back then.
When we were friends, nothing but.
Now I love you, and you love me. A cleared rut.
Moved away all of the mixed emotions, and added the heart.
The feeling of love, the knowing of feeling part.
Part of you, part of your world.
Your mine, no one else's, my one true girl.
The cotton of your shirt, smooth against my arm.
Protecting you from danger, any kind of harm.
Holding you. The feeling of completeness.
Everything that makes me happy, except the kiss.
You turn your head, I look into your precious eyes.
I wait for the ok, and watch you smile.
Simple, pure, lovely. The words I choose to describe it.
The wonderful vibe, I get from being at your side.
Us two. Alone. The world is ours. The time is ours.
Fully, meaningfully, I feel your heartbeat, as we sit for hours.

Fire Of Desire

2008-06-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

Warmth from the heat.
Light from the fire.
I have to come to my final defeat,
the defeat of my desire.
How much I long for the things that will never come.
How they sit inside my thoughts, and I come undone.
I loose my mind. My every will to go on.
Live on. Continue as a pawn.
No sense of importance. No recognition.
A mental fence. Give me the definition.
Something holding me back. Something keeping me out.
It's something I lack. Let out everything. Shout.
The decibel causing weakness of the mind.
But letting out what it was holding behind, this closed gate.

The Ultimate Drug Love

2008-06-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

Intoxicated with the essence of love.
It makes me think things never thought of.
Filling my lungs and leaving a mark,
beginning the process, but no where to start.
No more room in your mind for others,
you think of yourself, just another.
The joint of lust and temptation.
Filling my mouth with condensation.
Touch of skin, cotton of your shirt.
My arm around your shoulder. I feel like dirt.
Once this over, will you care?
Or will you go with another, and treat him unfair.
Smoke another, throw away the ashes.
Unstoppable love, avoid the crashes.
The ultimate drug. Love. Why can't it last?

Battle Of Love

2008-06-12T18:52:00.001-07:00

This terrible battle is done.
Our bloodshed brothers have help us won.
Fought for me. Helped me.
Aided my wounds, helped me see.
The sword kissing my skin, but breaking heart.
The shield protecting me, but its falling apart.
Weakened by every touch of her sword.
Temptation, falling after ever point scored.
Every man down, every heart broke.
Every dream shattered, that you helped provoke.
Blood waiting to be shed by your lies.
I see nothing but loneliness in your eyes.
Now dimmed from the brightness you used to have.
Turned against from this love-like rehab.
Why didn't you choose my side?
There is no where to hide, from the pain you set aside.
This soul is now alive.

Nothing Much

2008-06-07T17:04:00.001-07:00

You've got your gun to my head.
Unable to act. Remember what you said?
Things change. I changed?
Evidently. I was blamed.
Screwed up. Messed up. The state you left me.
Move along nothing to see.
Pass me by. You see. You ignore.
You know I was left on the floor.
Unnoticed. Uncared for.
Dust, crumbs, dirt. My friends.
That's what you see in them. This ends.
This addiction for your touch.
What I am now. Nothing much.
My love is dead. You have it, but its useless.
Be careful, you can be careless.
Then again, you can't use it, its worthless.
Stare at it. Touch it. Try to understand it.
You can't, we weren't the right fit.

Unholy

2008-06-04T13:02:00.000-07:00

We stand on this ball of ground,thinking, where is he to be found?
When I do see him, what will I do?
Will I speak? Will my words be few?
I am unholy compared to the only god.
Will he let me enter? Will he see me as a fraud?
He is my god. The only.
How holy? How holy am I?

Who Is On My Side

2008-06-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Where are my friends? Where is my family?
I'm lost is this world of sin, it's just me.
Alone, so alone. So Misunderstood.
I want to be known, if only I could.
Not fame, not riches,
just my name, just these wishes.
Listen to me. Hear me.
You hear nothing, you won't let yourself see.
Is anyone on my side? Does anyone care?
I have no one to rely, this doesn't seem fair.

Mayday

2008-05-24T20:34:00.001-07:00

I feel so beat down. Crashes, mayday.
What was going through my head when I saw you today?
Ask me. Do you even care?
Probably not, so theres no reason to share.
I'll tell you though. I'll explain it as best I can.
Anger, hate, sadness, jealously, loneliness.
What could make me feel that way? Only this.
The sight of your perfect life, your perfect kiss.
What happened to it, the girl I used to miss.
I'm not allowed to miss you anymore,
we're broken up, no more.
But inside, I still do. I still do.
Almost everything about you. Do you?
Do you miss me? Is this still new?
Have you gotten past our breakup?
Changing in relationships. Shakeup.
When anyone mentions your name, they shutup.
They know the pain I feel. Why can't you?
Laugh in the face of my name. That's your cue.
Make a joke out of everything, you always do.
I saw you today. Mayday.

Heartless Sounds

2008-05-21T19:42:00.001-07:00

I remember what you said.
What you did, who you were.
This blood pulsing through my head, I loved her.
The sound of your heart racing.
The pain it is now creating.
Why? Why did you do this to me.
Can you not see, you were the key.
The key to my soul, my very heart.
You turned the diamond back to coal, every single part.
Leave me incomplete. Leave me these non existing sounds.
The ones I cry for every night, they rebound.
Inside my head, outside my heart.
Wheres the key? Getting further apart.
I saw you today. You were happy, but inside alone.
Do you miss our conversations on the phone?
I do. Now the words you speak, have become few.
I looked back at what I said.
I miss what was going through this head.
Do you remember all the shit I put with?
No you don't. You took it as a myth.
A story. A joke. A rumor.
I'm stuck with a mental tumor.
Cut me open, inject the pain.
Take a look, at what I became.
Will I make it? Will I forget this all happened?
Now you tell me only a fraction.
A fraction of the lie. No I won't.
I lay on my side, in agony.
The feeling won't stop nagging me.
Forever in my head. Laying by my phone.
I sit in my bed, feeling so alone.
Heartless sounds.

A Mental High

2008-05-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

The feeling repulsive, but at the same time, calming.
The mental pain, needing aid, calling.
I don't want to help, I don't want this feeling to stop.
My knees buckling. About to drop.
I stand knowing I have the strength.
But fall, knowing the pain inside will someday sink.
It will detonate my mind destroying any thoughts of this.
Doing nothing, but creating one big dent.
Fixable, not fixable, but still needing that extra cent,
extra push, to get it started so it can be at normal level.
In a dazed state. Eyes half open.
Unable to move, but hoping, that someone will help.
Get you moving, get you up to pace.
Just enough to be able to compete in the race.
So hard to define, but easy to defy.
A mental high.

Drink Up Beautiful

2008-05-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

I saw you today.
The look you had was filled with dismay.
Why? Why are you sad?
Don't tell me you miss me. Don't say what you wish you had.
My words, my love, my warmth.
Look at yourself. Depressed?
Look at me, and take a guess.
Drink from the fountain of compression.
Combined feelings to fit this space for depression.
Drink up beautiful. Your cup is filled with anguish.
You added the substance, Relinquish.
Give up? You already did.
You left me in the rain. Lord Forgive.
Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's me.
What have I wrong, can you even see?
Misery? Do you feel it? I live it.
You use it against others.
Your ammunition full with my heart.
Your the firearm. Which part? The trigger.
You call the shots. You place the wound.
This battlefield is running out of room.
No more room for lust.
I see your face, I'm filled with disgust.
Drink up beautiful.

Gone

2008-05-15T14:33:00.001-07:00

Everything I once held dear is lost.
The value to have it back has no cost.
What happened? All my love, used.
Now I have nothing but these memories of being abused.
Abused by her words and actions.
She left me in with these unsolvable fractions.
Unevenly split up. She has everything she did but
lost nothing but this kid.
This something of a person she can control.
The power of love, behold.
Sit me down, tell me your hate.
Look into my eye's, tell me my fate.
What will happen to this scarred body?
Picked up the gun, shot me.
Was that supposed to happen?
You tell me captain.
The mellow light you shone down upon my soul.
It's warmth touching my skin, but I'm cold.
I need your warmth. The heat.
It unbearable, and it runs through my head and my feet.
I can't imagine it now.
The last time you came over,
you promised a kiss. A simple touch.
You had an excuse, it didn't take much.
Cried. All night. Did you know that?
I didn't tell you. It might have hurt you.

Can't Look At Your Face

2008-05-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

I can't look at your face.
This empty heart in this case.
I hear your voice and laughter.
You get over it, soon after.
Celebrate. Enjoy your happy life.
Don't think about me again, empty sight.
Stop trying to see,
what you missed in me.
I'll stop trying to be, what you wanted me to be.
Your's. I can't look at you.
I can't be your friend.
This is the end.
Don't talk to me. Don't touch me.
Don't call me. Don't care for me.
I don't need your sympathy.
I sense your near.
I feel your warmth.
I release a tear.
But you won't.
Before, you said love.
Love. Define it.
It's a word that never seems to fit.
For you. For me. For us.
What I was feeling is lust.
I didn't love you. Young.
That's what we are.
My age left me hung,
by the noose from afar.

I Took The Shot

2008-05-05T21:02:00.001-07:00

Maybe I'm sorry,
maybe I'm not.
This isn't easy for me,
since I took the shot.
The bullet of pain and misery.
The gun of hardship and backfire.
For The wound that's killing me,
I have no desire.
Where is your necklace.
It holds my love, now its worthless.
Keep it girl, let it teach you something.
The pain that can live in a human being.
No big deal to you, just something to set aside.
Something to stare at wile you sit beside.
Beside my spirit of love. You have it.
You have mine. It fits.
The spirit and the necklace. Ignore them.
Feel them. See them. Wear them. Keep them.
Keep them.
Maybe your sorry. I doubt this.
But I was for sure when I got that kiss,
that you loved me.
My heart now small, struggling to beat.
Its burning up, from this emotional heat.
It sings to me. It tells me about you.
I see, but there is nothing I can do.
Go on. Go on. Go on.
Love those guys you so highly exalt.
They will soon look back a realize, its all your fault.
Maybe your sorry.
Maybe your not.
This is easy for you.
Since they take the shot.
I took the shot.

Water and Rye

2008-05-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

It's sad that you can't see.
It hurts knowing we can't be,
together.
Never ending, ever loving, so I thought.
Did you even love me? I guess not.
I needed you, I needed the touch of your skin.
Without them, this relationship has come to an end.
I feel the breeze hitting my face.
Hits me, because I can't stay the same pace.
Can't keep up, its to fast,
like the net you forgot to cast.
Didn't tell me ahead of time.
Tonight, all I have is water and rye.
All she has is water and rye.
When I see her, or even think about her, I cry.
Not physically, but from the pain inside.
Lier. Heart breaker. Forgetful. Unseeing.
The pain is everything but a human feeling.
Monster. You took down the weak,
now I have nothing to seek.

Did Love You

2008-04-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

Closer to alone,
but not far from home.
Wanting less, getting more,
receiving what I've had before.
The same thing, a different meaning,
your looking, but I'm the only one seeing,
what's been going on.
What I have is all now gone.
Moved on. Gone. away,
wasn't long, before she had to say,
things changed, you changed.
What's wrong girl?
It's over, is this for real?
Lost meaning in my heart,
Your name I try to start.
Can't finish. These tears drown me.
My heart now dead, you still won't see.
I'm sorry. I'm not sure why, but I see pain.
Your pain isn't much, but drives me insane.
I want to help, want to help you.
Your capacity in my heart has grown few.
I did love you. Did.

More Than Love

2008-04-26T20:01:00.001-07:00

I thought it was more than teen affection.
She made it more than mental desolation.
Our love was not simple, so I thought.
Then I realized, she has everything I'm not.
She has a personality, a reputation.
I have a heart with filtration.
Simple needs in a girl.
Love, personality. She had a portion.
Little love, too much personality. My abortion.
Someone take me in, love me.
I need to begin, I need to see.
She wasn't my only choice.
I gave her my love, no rejoice.
All of it. Gone.
She was someone I could count on.
Behind me it's not,
it is something that still needs to be forgot.
Forgive her? How could I?
How can I forgive suffering and lies.
I wouldn't do that.
Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.
I gave you your space,
but all you gave me was disgrace.
Turned against. Let go.
You do not even know.
Sedation of love kept me asleep,
now I have nothing left to keep.
No more love. I don't want it back beautiful.
Keep it. Let it sink in, let the pain fulfill.
Feel what I went through, mental kill.
Sorry if I changed. We all do,
but I still can't believe it was the only reason you
left me. Friends. All I have now.
I can count on them, someone I will allow.
Not someone who will stab me in the back.
You just took one big whack.
The fact that you broke up with me isn't the issue.
Its what you did in the process too.
We had everything planned.
Us two, waiting for the land.
The breakup. We knew this wouldn't last.
The setup. You knew I wasn't fast.
Fast enough to make the decision to end it before you did.
Fast enough to to forgive.
Leave with no sympathy cold heart.
Where to go now? Where to start?

What Now

2008-04-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

Over. Done. Ended.
The way I feel and the way I am.
She was my everything. She's gone.
She loved me, took me by the hand,
but left me at the heart. So long.
How many day's will I sit here,
knowing I love you my dear.
Irresistible. Trying to forget.
Just how far we didn't get.
How far we did get. I'm not sure.
The last time I fall for your beautiful lure.
To the extent of love. Impression.
No other. Left in depression.
My dignity, my pride.
Left behind because it couldn't hide.
Didn't know how to escape, with more a than meaning.
Love. I'm not believing.
You loved me? You cared about me?
Now it's this broken heart you can't see.
Wakeup to reality babe. Wakeup to truth.
I'm hurt. See my pain.
Feel it, for you are to blame.
Just once. Notice me. Notice me.
You can't leave me behind.
You just don't see,
because you choose to be blind.
What now? You leave me in emptiness.
All I wanted was one last kiss.
A reason. An excuse, why you ended it.
Tell me. I've already been hit.
Why not take another shot?
I'm in the view, what have you got?
The heart to tell me? No.
The heart to hurt me? Yes.

Let Me See

2008-04-19T21:18:00.001-07:00

Lonely. Solitary. Nameless.
All unique feelings only some feel.
You sit there, no hurt. Painless.
Your perfect life, never needing to heal.
Maybe not, either way, it seems better,
when I have nothing left but this empty letter.
Writing to no one but me.
Others read, but they do not see.
The person who sits here day after day,
feeling the sorrow of so much dismay.
God help me. Lord save me.
Give my soul life, make me happy.
Bring joy to my heart,
because right now, it's being ripped apart.
So close. So very close.
Almost. Almost there.
No one cares.
No one seems to. I see no action.
These friends want to help, but for their own fraction.
For their own credit from the lord.
Thinking it will bring them closer to the almighty sword,
of Christ.
Friends help you for your good. Not their own.
They help until you are fully healed and grown.
Regained full strength. Strong.
Happy. Feeling like you belong.
Light of the word, you stare down into darkness.
Open my eye's, let me see.

A New

2008-04-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

I did this to myself.
I chose the wrong shelf.
The right place to find the wrong book.
I didn't read the review, all I needed was a look.
That's all it took, to see you were no good.
I was distracted. There was no way I could.
Your beauty and happiness caught my attention.
But now the tension to end this is redemption.
Save me from this speeding car I can no longer control.
Save me, this relationship is finally taking it's toll.
You have to end it. I don't have the heart.
End this before I can no longer start.
No longer think because I'm addicted to you.
I will no loner be able to feel a new,
a new kind of happiness. A new kind of love.
I sit on my bed. Looking at you.
the only picture I have, is not something new.
I've seen it more than I can count.
But where are you really, I shout.
Where is the angel I no longer can adore?
Where is the girl that I can't love anymore?
I sit on my bed, looking for you.
Knowing you won't be there, but hoping soon.
Soon you will arrive to tell me the end.
Maybe you won't, you don't want me to begin,
a new.

Let It Be

2008-04-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

What if I left you. What would happen?
What would you do? How would it happen?
Would you cry? Would you still love me?
Would you sigh and just let it be?
The thought hits me when I think about your actions.
I see what you are doing, and these aren't just captions.
Not some text in a picture that means nothing,
But my life your hands, you actually mean something.
How would I live without your love and care?
I still don't know, but this is getting unfair.
You treat me like any guy, any other friend.
I thought we were more. This is coming to a long end.
It reminds me how we were at the start.
Both of us loving with all our heart.
Look at us now. Look at me now.
Look at me.
You obviously are blind not to see,
the pain that is barely escaping me.
Wanting out, but I try and hold strong,
thinking maybe you will notice, but realizing I don't belong.
You don't need me. You only need your friends.
You just can't see. I'm not pretend.
I'm right here. Love me,
look at me, and see,
the pain inside, you just let it be.

Portrait of Pain

2008-04-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

If I could take your pain and frame it, I would.
Try to correct the picture, but it doesn't mean I should.
You painted a portrait of pain for me,
it's on your wall and doesn't mean a thing.
Simply ignored because the blind can't see beyond.
You walk by, somehow grown fond,
of the picture on your wall.
Baby, even I can't see it all, but this is obvious,
look closer if your even curious.
Stop painting, drop your brush.
Just stop before I'm completely crushed.
All I see in your future is more portraits,
more pain, I'm about to forfeit.
Somehow I've made it this far.
I didn't get here by car,
Only by the portrait of my pain.

Pain Sweet Pain

2008-04-12T21:16:00.001-07:00

Every moment, some sort.
Every day, my last resort.
I get home, see her sweet words,
then try to make out what is hers.
Are these her words or feelings?
These lies aren't just killing.
They make one suffer. Make one feel terrible.
Make you want to die, it's unbearable. Unbelievable.
How can simple feelings make me tremble.
Why do you do this to me?
Can you not see?
This damage is happening mentally and physically.
You have to stop this before it to late.
I can't handle another date.
Pain sweet pain. Thats all it is.
It went and came. I can't handle this.

The Truth About Honesty

2008-04-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

Honestly but slowly, I reveal my darkest thoughts and feelings.
Only to realize you never really cared, and it kills me.
To have complete trust in someone and then have that ripped away.
It makes me want to end this, make this my last and final day. You left me with dismay.
Mental death has occurred in many thoughts and depressions.
But how many times has it been the real session?
The real action and death of my soul and spirit.
Only the mental breakdown of the strongest lyric. Let me here it.
Let me hear the true meaning of death and solitude.
I want to feel it, I want to live this never ending life of blue.
To feel what it's like to live with less than few.
To feel what it's like to live without you.
You don't know what your causing me. You don't know where I've been.
You won't open your closed eyes to see, the look that has brought us to and end.
Let me help you see the light. Let me help you be blinded by what's unseen, by you.
I'm sorry, but this is the last of my fight. This is all I can go through.
The days of despair and cruelty have come to a start,
we all join in, and act the part.
Pain. Pain. Ripped away. You left me in the deepest dismay.
This is my last and final day, with you.

When You Say You Love Me

2008-04-07T18:22:00.000-07:00

Just a simple phrase. A simple text.
The simple words, I hope come next.
Can you say them to my face? No.
But with such grace, I wonder how so.
Do you really love me the way you say?
It seems the exact same day after day.
Maybe you do, but do you think about what it means?
Do you even know what's behind these closed screens.
Isolated from the outside, trapped from the inside.
Able to leave, but you have to decide.
Do you really love me when you say it?
It's hard to believe the way you display it.
Cold feelings like any other guy.
But then again, that's what I am, so why even try?
Try to be the only guy who you feel emotionally attached to.
When's my turn? Give me a cue.
Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
3 times the charm, stop causing me harm.
Do I love you?

If You Loved Me

2008-04-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Everyday. Every week.
I see your face, but just a peek.
Wanting more, but getting less.
I'm becoming sore with no progress.
Not getting stronger from the thought of your name,
but getting weaker because your to blame.
You caused all this pain that driving me towards insane.
The mental stress that is caused from you.
What am I to do?
Break up with the girl I've so longingly lived for?
Or stay with pain, just more.
This relationship could has come to a end.
Save it before another one begins.
You've already found another,
your leaving me in the dust, without a lover.
No one to love. No one to cry on.
All I had was you, and now your gone.
Not completely, just out of sight.
Your there, but not willing to put up a fight.
I cant see.
Maybe you just don't love me.
If you loved me, you wouldn't put me through this.
But leave me here, let's see who's missed.

Every Guy, Every Way

2008-04-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

Why am I here? Why are you there?
Can you not sense the fear within my care?
I care about you. Do you care about me?
But you've found a new, how could this be.
All those great times, all the shared love.
I missed the chimes to release the dove.
You've stayed your welcome.
Go. It seems like your wish.
There is obviously no finish.
No last lover. No last heartbreak.
I duck, I need cover, help me from the shell-shake.
A wake-up to life. Cold water on my face.
I pick up the knife, we can't stay the same pace.
Your faster and can handle it,
I'm a disaster and can't take a hit.
Why was I here? To show you, you can't have every guy.
What you have to fear? All the guys who you bring a tear.
I will always love you but never in the same way.
Maybe someday you will realize, you can't have every guy, every way.

Gone

2008-03-31T21:14:00.001-07:00

You treat me like a ghost.
There but unseen to most.
You see me. Try to ignore me.
Don't want to know who I am truly.
Do I exist? Maybe you just can't resist
Love obviously to you was a game.
Every round I got the same.
Another problem, another guy.
I thought I was all you needed? Why?
You promised me, you just couldn't see.
The one thing that set me free. You.
I can't take this anymore,
it's causing my days to become more and more sore.
Miss me. Miss my warmth. It's gone.
Chase it. Erase it, before it causes pain,
like you did me.
You had someone to save.
Me. I loved you babe.

New 'Meant-To-Be'

2008-03-31T20:52:00.001-07:00

At the dance,
Hoping for a little romance.
What do I get?
Everything to forget.
One or two happy moments,
all destroyed by your unsaid comments.
You hold them inside,
you don't realize it makes me cry.
Heart broken. One time spoken.
All my hoping. Hopeless.
Forget it they said,
it was the ending that was unread.
Didn't read the whole book,
maybe I should have taken one last look,
before I took the bait of your hook.
Harsh? Not at all.
For you are the one who let me fall.
Didn't catch me. Rejected me.
Found another 'Meant-To-Be'.
Sure, I got one dance,
but it was only so because of the tension of your trance.
Temptation fallen. Redemption calling.
Help me. Love me. Care about my simple needs.
Now untouchable.
No other love to be.
Hope your happy, with your new 'Meant-To-Be'.

The Last Time

2008-03-26T18:55:00.000-07:00

The more ways you can say it,
the worse it sounds.
The more times I remember it,
the worse it rebounds.
It comes back and hit's me harder than before.
Knocks me off my feet. I still want more.
I hit the floor.
Still not enough to say I'm satisfied.
Still not enough to forget the way you replied.
Because you didn't.
Now it's over. No more pain.
But what have I gained?
Nothing.
A harsh word that means something.
Something so empty. Something so quiet.
But something so deep, it causes a mental riot.
It describes feelings in more ways than I can name,
but I'll just leave it as feeling "pain".
The breakup. The crash.
The setup. The last.
The last time.

Your Friends Over Me

2008-03-26T18:51:00.000-07:00

Only now do you leave me there,
with nothing but dishonesty and despair.
What am I to do. What is the puppet supposed to do,
when his master has made a new.
A brand new toy to play with, to control.
But this will never end, this will never get old.
My controller. My deepest leader.
It is until now, I realize I need her.
Someone to get me through the hardships,
to get me through bullshit life has to offer.
But maybe there is someone else to fill the roll,
maybe someone to take the toll.
Now is when I need you more than ever just to be.
I need you with me, but your choosing your friends over me.
The wrong impression maybe,
but for now, I need you more than ever baby.

Natures Calling

2008-03-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

Step outside, take a look at the rain.
Feel it hit you, let it cleanse your pain.
Step outside, feel the wind.
Watch the seeds fly, watch new life begin.
Step outside, listen to the snow.
No sound yet the snow falls just to show,
you what nature can do.
Feel it, take it in, let it run wild.
You'd be surprised just how it will make you smile.
The feeling makes you want to scream. Let everything go.
Step outside, listen to the snow.
You don't hear anything. This is your time.
Make it special. Listen to the rhyme.

Only a Kiss

2008-03-23T14:37:00.001-07:00

Waking up, remembering the night.
From a fly on the wall, I witness the sight.
You and me having the time of our lives,
just being together by each others side.
Missing the feeling, missing your touch,
it's something small, that means so much.
It was only a kiss. Only a kiss.
Gone in just a moment, but one to remember.
It touches my heart, makes it so very tender.
Vulnerable, yet lovable. Touchable, yet hard to get.
Once touched, you've been hit.
You get back up and try to recover,
but all you can do is love one another.
I'm yours. Your mine.
How are you doing? I'm just fine.

Somewhere Else

2008-03-16T18:50:00.001-07:00

Your somewhere else in the world right now, somewhere without me.
It's very hard for my heart to allow, to let this be. The feeling I have is so lonely.
I miss the times when you and I are together. Just us two.
Maybe someday forever, but for now, a little of you will have to do.
The sound of your heart. The sound of your breathing.
Something thats grown part, of how I'm feeling.
The memory of us enjoying each other's love and company,
but the wishing for it now has grown to many.
To many hours, days, weeks.
The missing of delicate, soft cheeks.
I need the feeling of having you in my arms.
I need the love of your wonderful charms.
I now see how love can be such a hard thing.
I'm still getting by what it brings.

Falling

2008-03-16T10:06:00.002-07:00

Low to the ground. Down to earth.
Another child. Another birth.
High in the air. One above all.
Once I'm lonely, I begin to fall.
Falling from space, never even seen.
I want to hide, knowing I will never be freed.
Waiting for the final touch. The touch of destruction.
Waiting for the ground. I missed the introduction.
No one to catch the mistake.
They try to break the fall, but no one is awake.
They hear. I hear no answer.
I'm hiding from this disease-like cancer.
Not curable. Just waiting.
No one understands, how frustrating.
Now it's to late. Life wasn't worth the wait.
To late.

Forever

2008-03-16T10:06:00.001-07:00

My mind lays somewhere above,
Wile my heart is filled with love.
It's on the ground, some say beyond,
beyond because when I call, there is know respond.
I get but a thump. A simple vibration.
But your more than that, An endless sensation.
The feeling gets to you like nothing ever before,
you keeping going, keep wanting more,
thinking it is her who you will always adore.
Maybe it's true, maybe she'll be your only one,
maybe your relationship has only begun.
Even if not forever, your still in my heart.
But I highly doubt that anything can bring us apart.
Hold your head high heavy heart.

Future Nor Past

2008-03-16T10:04:00.002-07:00

Without plan. Without a ride.
I try to run. I try to hide.
Waking to no more than the present,
I stare up and see the current moon-like crescent.
Always there, but never past or future.
Still there hasn't been a cure.
A cure to fix things, to go ahead or back in time.
To undo our so called crimes.
I have no future. No past.
But these present times seem to go by way to fast.
God help us see the future and what is to come.
God help us see the past and what we have done.
We need your eye's.
Our past and future seem disguised.

Your Smile

2008-03-16T10:04:00.001-07:00

When I imagine you, I see your wonderful smile.
That is what really makes life worth wild.
It makes me smile back and want to cry,
because inside, I know your mine.
So happy inside, so easy to do,
but this is one of the few things that make me love you.
When I try and think of the happiest thing I can, I think of you with me.
If you look back at how it began, maybe you will see,
we have something special.
Passing by, I see your face.
You smile, my heart starts the race.
Racing to the finish, for the prize,
keep going, looking at your eyes.
Almost at the finish, so close.
My mind keeps wondering, but I already know.
You talk to me.
Your words fly out of your mouth so gracefully.
An angel. No other words to describe.
I look once more, I get that amazing vibe.
She cares, she loves me.
She is the only one who can set me free.
So beautiful, so unbelievable.
How can I be with you? This doesn't seem right.
There are so few, that can cause such delight.
Your mine. I'm yours.
I watch your beauty soar.
Your smile.

Thought of You

2008-03-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Here I am writing these lyrics, wishing you were here.
This is the one thing I tried to avoid, I feared.
It's makes me depressed when your not beside me,
it makes me want to go to you, and see,
if your really my key.
The key to unlock my loneliness, to free whatever is inside.
But where is the lock? Why aren't you here sitting beside.
We can't be together all of the time.
You and I are perfect, we're like a prime.
The thing that can't be divided. Can't be split,
But when your not with me I can't help throwing a fit.
Knowing your somewhere else sickens my mind,
Your the key that I can't find.
I thought of you today. Everyday.
Same routine, same way.
I miss you.
So please, give me the cue, to come and see you.

Understand

2008-03-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

If you want to stay together, you need to know.
My life is not some simple thing, it's a complicated show.
I present, people watch. Watch how my life goes on.
But they are the actors, I'm a pawn.
The lowest position in the game,
Then you happened, you came.
That's where it turned from low class to Broadway,
but you have to listen when I say,
I do have a past.
It went by to fast,
for anyone to see the pain that became.
I take the blame.
Understand that I love you.
because I truly do.
But things won't be perfect with me,
I just hope you can understand and we can be.
Be, stay, together.

Raining You

2008-03-16T10:00:00.002-07:00

Looking out my window, looking through.
the sight of raindrops, beautiful, just like you.
The sight of rain fills me with joy,
when the droplets hit the ground, they break apart, destroy.
I see 2 drops hit the ground,
the drops fuse together, a puddle is found.
Lake of water, my reflection,
containing a puddle of it's collection.
Standing there, feelings come out,
this is the time I get to shout.
Shout what I'm feeling, shout whats wrong,
emotions peeling,I sing a song.
See my reflection, think of you,
wish you were here, just us two.
But my wish can't come true, so I won't continue.
I leave you with this,
something simple but something to miss.
kiss.

More of You

2008-03-16T10:00:00.001-07:00

Sitting here, thinking of you,
my pain is severe, what can I do.
I need you here with me, I need someone to help me through.
I try bravely, but I need a renew, of you.
You call me all the time, but its not enough.
I sit through the daytime, it's to rough.
I need to see your beautiful face, I need you to help me through this place, called reality.
One day with you would be the world to me,
but with both of us so busy, how can it be.
Everyday, I'm here writing, because every time I'm reciting,
how much I miss you.

Obsessed

2008-03-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

How can I express how I feel when I never see you,
I want to talk to you, feel you, just us two.
If you were here right now, I'd want you to stay,
but your not, somehow, I make it through the day.
I want to put my arm around you, you just there,
but I can't. Everything seems unfair.
I want to kiss you again, watch everything begin.
Because that night shouldn't have had an end.
Maybe this time it won't,
please don't.
It makes me cry when I think of us,
I can't help it. I Obsess.
Over you.

First Kiss

2008-03-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

That night, you with me,
I kept thinking how it could be.
Just the two of us, you with me, me with you.
nothing to discuss, but we both knew,
that I had to make the move.
Waiting for the movie to end,
Waiting, waiting, so we could begin.
Credits black and white,
I waited all night.
Thinking how to start,
thinking about how loud my heart,
was beating. The room was heating.
You looked at me,
I thought how pretty,
you looked that night.
How amazing the sight,
the feeling, how you were stealing,
my heart.
Will you kiss me?
hoping in my mind it would be.
Mental images already appearing,
then all my thoughts began clearing.
I lean forward, you lean toward.
Our lips touch.
Lips together,
I wish the feeling forever.

Your Book

2008-03-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

Your perfect in more ways than I can say,
When I look at you, I smile because you just made my day.
All I have do is take one look,
sometimes I wish I could read the whole book.
I want to know everything about you,
and everything I already knew.
I can't get enough no matter how hard I try,
I start to think about you, wish you were here, and cry.
Tears of loneliness hurt more than I can explain,
drives me insane.
Tears of joy make me happy especially when
I get to see your beautiful face again.
When I hear your voice, when I look.
When you make the choice, to let me read your book.

When the World Spins

2008-03-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

When the world spins,
so does my mind.
When we win, I watch us shine.
In the wind, the grass blows.
Like the water in a stream,the people row.
No one will ever know how I feel,
until the wrapper begins to peel.
Everyone laughs and makes fun,
but their life has yet begun.
In the world,
people kill.
Some of those people,
have no free will.
We all suffer and die,
it happens every day.
We suffer and cry
it happens every way.
The battle has yet to be finished,
when all things dare be different.
Although people go on,
I can't help but wonder when I mow the lawn,
how we humans survive,
in this world of no revive.
I find amazing how we live, but no one seems to give...

a care about the lonely ones.
We laugh we cry,
but we have soon to find why.
Emotions are one part,
and we have only found that in the entire cart.
Our parents our family,
seem to share similarity.
But when it comes down to every detail,
sometimes, its impossible to tell.
You make new friends,
you live a better life,
you're a better person,
you drop the knife.
You made mistakes,
god made the lakes,
you made the difference
god made the existence.
You 're on a long ride,
don't be scared,
god is on your side.

The Cure

2008-03-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

Started off like she hated me,
now, how could this be.
She was a friend nothing but,
and it hurt me like the deepest cut.
How could i say how I really felt,
always weird like a tight belt.
Keeping me up, not letting me down,
when talking to you, how could I frown.
It turns out, she liked me.
I wanted to shout and scream.
I sit on my bed thinking about her,
I found the ingredient, she found the cure.

Friendship

2008-03-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

The person who stands up for their friends. The knight.
The person who hurts others. The fight.
A friend will be by your side through everything,
friends don't be your friends for nothing.
You need them, they need you.
Some people have a-lot, some people have very few.
You feel pain, you start to cry.
They see you, they help, or at least they try.
You start to wonder why?
Then you remember that one day they told you “Hi”.
They make you feel better, in a friendly way.
They help you up and ask if your ok.
You get depressed, you feel like a bird.
You start to sing but can't remember the words.
they help you along,
they show you the lyrics to the song.

My Great Depression

2008-03-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

The time when everything goes wrong.
The time when you sing, but there's no song.
You feel empty but full, never right.
You stay inside, you need to see the light.
You look outside and see the rain.
Every look causes more and more pain.
Everything is dark,
so no one can see the mark,
it left on you.
Your friends try,
but when they ask, it makes you cry.
You know this isn't right,
but your to upset to fight.
You look at the past, it wasn't right.
You don't react fast, your so tight.
You need someone to help you out,
you don't have friends, so there's no reason to shout.
You have nothing to be happy about.
My great depression.

Perfect

2008-03-15T22:13:00.001-07:00

She reminds me of everything I've come to love,
and somehow we go together like a hand in a glove.
We make each other laugh, we help each other out.
When I look at the graph, there's no doubt,
We were meant to be.
When I listen to my favorite song,
I wonder, just how long...
we will be together.
Hopefully forever. There's no way to tell,
I would go with you trough heaven or hell.
Your the one who gives me something to fight for,
your the one I will always adore.
I would give anything if you would stay mine,
because I know forever, you and I will shine.
We can overcome anything because we are one,
and think, our relationship has just begun.
I think to myself where I would be without you,
and then I think what my heart would be like in 2.
I am nothing with out you, only some guy in a crowd of many,
now that I'm with you, and I think, you could have had any,
any other guy. You picked me.
That's what makes us perfect.

That Song

2008-03-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Missing out, keeping pace,
feeling like I'm out of the race.
Life is bad, always wrong,
life is hard,
I hear that song.
The song thats makes a bad day a good one,
the song that actually makes me feel like someone.
The song that makes you think positive,
the song that makes you want to live.
It has the lyric that makes you think,
it has the music that makes everything link.
You hear it again,
you listen to it begin.
That Song.

My Memories

2008-03-15T22:10:00.001-07:00

I have done so many wrong things in the past,
when those thoughts hit my mind, they go away fast.
I do not like to think of them, it hurts me inside,
they bring me shame, not at all pride.
When others find out, they try to understand,
they don't get it, they act as if it was planned.
Sometimes theres a person who understands. A special person,
sometimes you don't, and the memory begins to worsen.
If I could take back what I did, I would,
the only problem is, there is no way I could.

Your's Truly

2008-03-15T22:07:00.000-07:00

Standing by her side, I am filled with pride,
for without her, I am but a smudge, a blur, on this Earth.
I wouldn't succeed, for it is her I need.
I would face battle or war, for it is her I adore.
The harshest of storms to me, I wish no sympathy.
As long as you are with me, I will forever be, your's truly.

Addictions

2008-03-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

They say they make you feel better.
You take them, you sign the letter.
You go ahead and sign your life away,
not even thinking about your life the next day.
Your friends and family don't trust you,
You sit down and think, "Who?
Who am I now.
These people aren't my friends. How?
How did this happen, time went by so fast."
You look back, you think of the past.
You need help, you can't stop.
That is when everything begins to drop.
School, Attitude, Life,
You've plunged the knife,
no turning back.

Different

2008-03-15T22:02:00.001-07:00

If people could understand what its like to be different,
then people might care.
But some people just don't get it,
and that's not fair.
For some, being different is your life,
For some, being different is one big fight.
If everyone was the same,
there would be no one to blame.
If everyone was different, it wouldn't bring shame.
Now days people try to be just like their star,
but that is exactly when it goes way to far.
Different is not something you try to be,
different is something that comes naturally.

2008-03-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

Chose Me

2008-03-15T22:00:00.000-07:00

Every time I think of you, I want to see you, listen to you,
Because I know that you will always be true, no matter how blue, me or you.
You understand what I say, you understand me.
I sit there some days and wonder how can this be,
your so perfect, and thats why it hurts me.
You could be off with some other guy, but your not.
Your with me and that really means a lot.
I'm sure we'll be together for a while,
I look forward to it knowing that I get to see your beautiful smile.
ThankYou for always being there,
finding a girl like you is very rare,
and you chose me.